Linda Loves Reese Peanut Butter Cups... get over it

Where oh where have I been???

2006-05-24T15:55:00.000-07:00

well... I've been rather busy of late, no excuse, just reality. here's the capsulated version...

We moved to Indian (from Michigan) on March 24th.
We spent two days unpacking the U-haul (thanks to my daughter for helping us move!!!)
We have had a great time exploring our new surroundings.
Rick started work on March 27th down here... he loves it, though he is working a lot!!!
I, on the other hand, did NOT start work down here right away. I went to a CNA school, took a 3 week course and am now working in a neighborhood nursing home. This is for me to gain much needed "on the job" experience, more-so than the money which isn't great, that I will need when I start nursing school down here... when will that be you ask? (I know you would have asked) hopefully this fall. The course is a year long and then I'm DONE!!!
I'm working midnights, which is a very strange adjustment for me... I have managed (so far) to stay awake - it's actually quite busy... apparently old people need to pee a lot during the night :)
We got married on May 8th... Rick was so adorable... he was actually smiling the whole day, even through the ceremony... he could not stop grinning... I was all like... "dude... you're gonna hurt yourself..." we recited vows and everything and I SWEAR I didn't say "obey" but he insists that I did... WHATEVA!!! :)

Not much else to update ya'll on... once I get my training over, I should be able to post more often as I'll have a normal schedule.

Oh... I do have a myspace account if anyone is interested... just go to myspace.com, search under the email address lcoronado@insightbb.com and you'll find me. (If I send you the link, they spend countless hours trying to get you to sign up before they let you in)

Well.. guess that's about it... I'm out of here for now... need a nap before going to work.

Later dudes and dudettes :)

bye... for now

2006-03-16T08:21:00.000-08:00

My last day at work is tomorrow (Friday the 17th) and I'll be departing sometime around the noon hour. I will be off work for one week, at home, packing and getting ready for the move and I will not be blogging (or responding to any of your blogs). We are moving next Friday but won't have cable until the following Monday so... my earliest guess is that I might be back in a couple weeks or so... just not as often.

you've all been fun to hang with and hopefully won't forget me.

I'll also post some pictures as soon as I get settled... not that they will be anything spectacular but because I'm gonna be bored out of my friggin mind and I'll need something to occupy myself!!!

oh.. we're still homeless, but hopefully we will secure an apartment this weekend on our visit... if not... look for us on CNN, living in our U-Store 8x10 storage unit!!!

damn mexican food does it again...

2006-03-14T12:40:00.000-08:00

Dammit... when I ask for mild tacos... I WANT MILD TACOS!!!

Here's an article from Courttv.com:

Police: Customer flew into rage over hot sauce
One customer's fiery reaction to an unwanted condiment in his food was all for naught.

The man vandalized the restroom of a local Mexican restaurant in Council Bluff, Iowa, because he thought the employees had put hot sauce in his tacos. But the restaurant, Taco John's, does not put hot sauce directly on its food.

According to Keith Mehlin, a spokesperson for the Council Bluff Police Department, the unidentified man and a friend ordered tacos from the restaurant's drive-through window at about 8:00 p.m. on Feb. 17.

Minutes after parking their vehicle in the establishment's parking lot, one of the men walked into the restaurant to complain about finding hot sauce in his meal.

The employees reportedly told the man that the restaurant only provided hot sauce on the side, not on the food. The man then entered the men's restroom and damaged the back portion of the toilet. It is unclear if a weapon was used.

The man is described as a white male in his 30s, six feet tall, with blond facial hair, and was seen driving a red 1994 GMC Jimmy.

now... I'm sure some of you have "torn up" a toilet or two after some awesome Mexican food... but this guy takes the prize!!!

apartment searching...

2006-03-14T12:24:00.000-08:00

Okay, so like... looking for an apartment that is 400 miles away is, surprisingly, very difficult!!!

Everyone is like... "send me the $25.00 application fee and I'll process your application..."

HELLO... I AM IN MICHIGAN... DON'T YOU DAMN HILLBILLIES TAKE A FREAKIN' CREDIT CARD??? DO YOU NOT REALIZE THAT I NEED TO MOVE IN LIKE... 9 DAYS???

ugh... woe is me...

it's all unravelling...

2006-03-09T05:09:00.000-08:00

Okay, so how does that saying go... "best made plans..." blah blah blah...

yeah, well, so our best made plans are slowly falling apart. Our Michigan (current) house did not appraise for what we needed it to appraise for in order for my daughter to get a loan for the amount we need to buy the Indiana house. Apparently the mortgage company is trying some tricky number working but, honestly, he'd have to be a friggin magician at this point. Apparently, with the housing market the way it is, our current house has LOST $13,000.00 in equity value... THIRTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS. That means that the loan my daughter gets can't be over what the house appraised for... that means we'd have to lower the price AGAIN and she'd basically be paying off my curretn mortgage and we'd net about $5000.00... well boys and girls... that's about $10,000.00 short of what we need to close in Indiana!!!

Yes, we are still moving (sort of have to at this point) to Indiana but looks like we will be apartment dwellers... which means... no doggy.

I called the vet today to discuss options (putting him to sleep options) and have a meeting with him tonight at 4:30 - assuming I can pull the meeting off without blubbering like an idiot... she said in the mean time she will try and contact some resources to see about fostering him out - although she admits that an 8 year old Rott is difficult, if not impossible, to place... but at least she's trying to help... and she's the FIRST person that's actually said they would try to help... so for that I'm greatful (even if it doesn't work out and he has to be put to sleep - she tried, I tried, Rick tried... we all tried)

Our biggest concern (other than the dog) is getting out of the contract in Indiana. We did leave ourselves an "out" in that if we didn't sell our Michigan house we couldn't close on the Indiana house, plus we had in there that if the flood insurance was more than $300.00 we woouldn't take it, and it's $800.00... but, unfortunately, we already told OUR agent that was okay, but we didn't sign anything saying it was okay so hopefully we aren't gonna get our asses SUED over this...

So... I'm sitting here at work... crying on and off and trying to keep my back to everyone so they can't see me... in about 30 minutes the dimwit person who is replacing me will be here to sit next to me and tell me how she is so not catching on... I don't know that I can take it without bitchslapping her...

the stress in my life right now is so incredible... my heart rate is up almost the entire day, my blood pressure is up, I am not sleeping (I've been up today since 2:45am) and I'm crying every other minute...

Is this what's it's like to have a nervous breakdown???

where have all the cowboys gone???

2006-03-08T04:05:00.000-08:00

and by "cowboys" I mean the blogs that I read (and often comment on) regularly... they've all DIS-CA-PEERED!!! I'm finding that blog withdrawl is a real problem for me... I've been blogging less and less since the "move south" issue has come up (I'm not at work as often, I'm approaching finals at school and I have something to do every single day as far as selling the house goes... so I'm swamped) but I've almost always had time to pop in on Mexi, Phelps, UNLV, etc... (and the others) and read something somewhat interresting and leave (at least) a one-liner response but all of a sudden... they are no longer there!!! when I try to reach the site, I get an error message that the site no longer exists... HUH??? am I going to have to go to Leroy's in Lansing and hunt for mexicans just to find out what happened???

Thank GOODNESS for HMT, Jenn and Brainiax (and others) for continuing to keep me entertained and give me something to do when I find myself bored out of my cotton-pickin' mind!!! (my mind does not actually pick cotton... but you get the point).

Here's hoping that the others return soon... if not I'll be forced to find others to pester and, frankly, I just didn't want to invest that much energy into it...

oh well...

status on the house

2006-03-06T05:55:00.000-08:00

Okay... so here is where my move stands...

A-lo (my oldest daughter) couldn't afford the house on her own salary (she is buying my house) and she can't use her fiance's income as his credit sucks big weenies. We lowered the sale price by $5000.00 so that she could afford it but now we are sweating bullets to see if we will still have enough cash to close on our house and buy all the new and shiny stuff we are going to need (washer/dryer, sofa, entertainment center, etc...) and pay for the move (about a grand) and still allow me the luxury of taking my time looking for a job. things don't look good, but apparently it looks like we will, at least, sell the house up here, which is a start.

The appraiser came out on Saturday and spent about 3 minutes looking over the house, he said that we should not have a problem getting it to appraise for what we "need" it to appraise for... we are giving A-lo a "gift of equity" which is helping her to qualify for the loan so it has to appraise for a certain dollar amount or above... the guy was very nice and had I not been completely in love with Richard I would have totally hit on him... no... really... but, alas, I could not use my womanly charms (and talents) to help me out with the appraisal... so... instead... I used sports :)

'dat's right... I'm 'da man!!! (or the WOman) he asked where we were moving, I say... "Indiana"... he say's... "Hoosier"... I say NO WAY!!! noticing he has a Michigan Wolverine jacket on, I go off on how there's no way I'd ever convert from Wolverine fan to Hoosier fan... we discuss Bobby Knight, I explain that while I believe he is a college basketball coach genius (yeah right) that I don't appreciate his anger management issues and that, as a mother, I can't condone his maltreatment of his players... blah blah blah b.s., he was impressed... so much so that he almost forgot he had to do a walk-through the house!!! so... he took one measurement, walked upstairs, downstairs, looked at the electrical box, said everything looks good and 2 minutes later was pulling out of the driveway. Apparently everything looked good, or, I confused him with sports talk :) either way, as long as he puts that dollar figure down on that piece of paper, I've done my job!!! :)

so... now we just have to figure out how to make the Indiana house sale happen still... with $5000.00 less, that's a big chunck of money, we're flippin' numbers around to see if we can make it happen still... if not, we are going to have to find a freakin' apartment and QUICK!!! of course, if we get an apartment, we can't keep the dog and that would probably be the last straw and everyone around me would see what small thread of sanity that I'm still holding onto... break...

so... that's where I stand... I haven't slept well in weeks, I can't eat (I've lost 18 pounds - which sounds cool and all, except that my point is that it will just make it easier to fit me in the casket!!!) I'm smoking like a fiend!!! no... really... I'm up from one cigarette a day to about a 1/2 pack a day!!! my acid reflux is in full swing, my ulcer is surely bleeding (no... not really).

but... everything will be okay right? I mean... if it's meant to be it will be... that's my philosophy... I've done what I can to make it happen... the rest is up to the gods... (or something like that)

How I feel...

2006-03-01T06:24:00.000-08:00

I need some medication!!!

2006-02-28T12:29:00.000-08:00

Okay... so this whole moving thing has me so stressed out!!! We bought a house down south and close on it March 24th... my daughter is buying my house (for a sweet discount I might add) but... she's yet to finalize her side of the deal... plus... she needs to find a sublessee for her apartment... AND... we're doing all sorts of work on the house (new pergo floor in kitchen/living room/bedroom/hall - finished the part of the basement we'd yet to finish, cleaning cleaning and more cleaning!!!) egads!!! plus, now I have a flaming YEAST INFECTION!!! damn my body... oh... and... i have chapped lips... no, really... i mean severly chapped lips (I was outside in 30 degree weather all weekend) they are cracked and bleeding even!!! oh... and THEN... hehehe... nah, I think that's it... I"m done venting... for now anyway. :)

too horny???

2006-02-17T10:06:00.000-08:00

HMT pointed out that I was too horny... relax everyone... he just pointed out that my crude "horns" picture needed to rid itself of the thumb portion to be a proper horn to throw... so... here it is... thumbless :)

Relationship quiz

2006-02-15T10:38:00.000-08:00

I decided to send HMT a "relationship quiz" to make up for his quiz he sent me... so here are my answers... I encourage all of you to seek out your inner self and post your answers to the questions to me...

if you like you can email them to me at Lcoronado@dominiontec.com (spammers will be shot - unless you are porn spammers)

Relationship Compatibility Quiz…

1) If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be, and what about it makes it a “you” tree?

A birch tree – slow to grow, a gentle weakness yet extremely strong, a little flaky

2) If you could have lunch with one person, alive or dead, who would that be?

My dad (he died 5 years ago… I’d just like one more lunch)

3) What is your favorite color? (you HAVE to pick one)

Most shades of green

4) What did you have for breakfast?

A slice of left over pizza and a cup of coffee

5) What is your favorite movie? What is your favorite song?

Movie: The Boxer with Daniel Day Lewis… Song: Star’s Fell on Alabama Last Night

6) If you had a “free” chance to be gay, who would you be gay with? (Free, meaning no one would ever know)

Angelina Jolie and it would be okay if someone knew and even watched!!! J

7) Where is the craziest place you’ve ever had sex?

Bar... in the men’s room (hey, I was young)

8) Is there a God? What is his/her name?

Don’t have a clue… but If it exists…‘his’ name is Harold (you know… the Lord’s prayer… “Lord in Heaven… Harold be thy name” J

9) Are you a dog or cat person?

Dog… big time dog person

10) Chocolate or vanilla?

Chocolate… definitely

11) Pepsi or Coke?

Coke if I have to choose, but I prefer tea

12) I’ve just spilled red wine on your new white carpet, what is your reaction? (p.s., you are not drunk when I do this)

I’d spill mine to make you feel better… then I’d ummm… clean it up… duh!

13) If you have no children, do you want children?

I have 3 daughters - I fear I will never have grandchildren

14) If you already have children, are you happy with your decision to have them?

I’ve never regretted it a day in my life and that’s the honest truth

15) What is your dream job?

Being an artist, just being able to create every day would be awesome!!!

16) If someone asked you to pick a song that described you, what song would you pick and what lyric(s) makes it a “you” song?

Terra Nova, by James Taylor… for this verse…

Oh end this day and set me in motion, I ought to be on my way.
Out to the west of Lambert's cove, there's a sail out in the sun,
and I'm on board though very small, I’ve come home to stop yearning.
Burn off the haze around the shore, turn off the crazy way I feel,
I'll stay away from you no more, I've come home to stop yearning.

17) Do you have siblings? If so, how many of each?

I have 4 older brothers, one passed away when I was 18 – I miss him terribly!!!

18) Are your parents still alive? If so, how close do you live to them?

My mother lives in Alabama… 681 short miles away J

19) Have you ever experienced what you feel to be true love? When and with whom?

Yes, luckily… I am with the man I love – true, real, solid, unmistakable love

20) Finally, are you satisfied with where you are today?

Yes, I have no regrets – I am where I’m supposed to be

21) And finally, finally, does it bother you when you think you are finished and there’s always one more question?

Nope, not at all… bring ‘em on!!!

horns??? :)

2006-02-15T08:28:00.000-08:00

Hit me with some bird shot...

2006-02-15T07:50:00.000-08:00

Richard likes to make up his own lyrics... Pat Benatar's "Hit me with your best shot" used to be "Hit me with some wet snot" but he's now changed it to be a tad bit more modern, using the recent VP Cheney gun "incident"... he's going around singing... "Hit me with some bird shot... fire away!!!" hey, it made me laugh the first 11 times I heard it... it's old already, give it up.

anyway... how do all ya'll feel about the whole accidental shooting anyway? being that I come from a family of 4 older brothers/hunters I find the story suspect but frankly, I really don't care, I have a hang-nail and that's much more important to me... The one thing I do find funny are all the late night talk show hosts jokes... Jay Leno said he had a nightmare that VP Cheney shot him and Ted Kennedy drove him to the hospital... LMFAO!!! (you'd have to be old enough to know the story for it to be funny) then the David Letterman announcer said that Cheny's going up the river for a while which is giving him the opportunity to hone in on Mrs. Cheney, saying that he can't wait to enter her LOWER BUNKER!!!! good times... good times...

thank goodness for idiotic politicians, providing the comedians with so much good material...

life really is all about how many times a day you can laugh!!!

the end is near...

2006-02-10T07:58:00.000-08:00

So the move south is definite. I have dropped my 3 current classes as the "move" weekend is the last weekend of school and, basically, I have so much crap to get done I don't think I can focus... so... this was the last week to drop with a "W" and not an "I" and... most of all, not failing the class and decreasing my PERFECT gpa...

with all that said...

my blogging will soon come to an end. (I know, I know... you're all very, very sad)

I am quitting my job and we are moving to Indiana (across from Louisville) and the house that we are 95% getting is an old (1919) 5 bedroom/2 bath "fixer upper" that I will be extremely busy fixing upping... as I don't blog at home and will not be working for a couple of months... I will most likely not post on my blog, or if I do... it will be very seldom (Hard to type with a paintbrush and jig saw in your hands)

so... all ya'll that comment regularly, here's your opportunity to tell me where to get off and let me know how you REALLY feel about me :)

I will probably miss this... but... I think I'll be pretty busy with other stuff to occupy my mind...

I'll still be writing on my novel and I'll post when I'm finished and out for publishing (yeah... like when I'm 97) so all ya'll can buy a copy and keep me from having to ever get a "real" job.

My most favoritest sexual encounter

2006-02-09T06:55:00.000-08:00

This is for Mexi... who so cleverly described his "sexual experience of the day" which then inspired me to share with the class... beware, some might feel this is X-rated, don't read it then... personally, I think this is more pg13...

Okay... so... I was married at 18, divorced at 32 and didn't date or have sex for close to 3 years after that (I needed deep recovery) so... at 35 I started dating again. being that I was obviously addicted to latin men, I found myself dating guys that (after years of therapy I realized this) reminded me of my ex-husband, Lucifer the Mexican Devil (diablo)

so... anyway... I met this guy, we'll call him Jose' ('cuz that's his name) at a highschool basketball game, he was with the other team, we were seated next to each other, we locked eyes, he screamed that the ref missed a foul, I told him to calm the f*ck down, it was a true love connection and so we exchanged numbers.

We went on two dates, all was cool and stuff... he's cute, he's interesting, he paid (hey, I was a single mom for God's sake!!!) so after date #3, we're making out on the couch, I stand up, take his hand and lead him into the bedroom (not that easy stepping over book bags, dogs, cats, iguanas...) we lay down on my bed...

It gets pretty hot and steamy and I'm like... DAMN IT'S BEEN 3 FRIGGIN' YEARS THIS ROCKS!!! and we start doing the whole clothes removal routine... he reveals to me that he's really really into performing certain sexual activities that have to do with his tongue and the rest of my body... I'm like... well... okay, if you HAVE to... :)

so... Jose is going to town moving slowly from my lips down the rest of my body and I'm like... damn... okay... this is cool... he moves lower, he moves higher, basically, he's giving me a tongue lashing like a robo-car-wash...

then... he moves around and settles on my nipple, my right one to be exact... and he starts to nibble. now I'm cool with that, 'cuz a little nibble goes a long way... but I'm definitely not a "rough sex" kinda girl and I like pleasure, not pain... so... I'm cautiously enjoying. He then starts to nibble harder and finally hauls off and BITES MY NIPPLE and I'm talking HARD!!!

I screamed and moved my body so he lost access...

he appologized, said he got carried away...

I said it was cool, I gently explained that I'm not into pain... he promised he would be more gentle...

so he resumed his activities and DAMMIT if he didn't bite me again... (and no I'm not being a whimp, I'm talking HE DREW BLOOD biting!!!)

this time I pushed him off me and was like... DUDE... lay off biting the nipple, that hurts and I don't like it...

he applogized, said I was making him so hot he got carried away... again.

now... I've gotten a couple guys horny in my life but none have ever been so horny they had to bite me... but I decide to give him another go at it... I mean, it HAD been 3 years!!!

he then moves over to the left nipple, probably assuming that the detatched tissue dangling from my right boob was no longer receptive to play...

yep... he hauled off and bit that one too...

now this was one of those 3 strikes and you're out moment and (I swear this is true) I shoved him off of me tossing him towards the wall, his head hit the wall so hard it put a DENT in the drywall... (yeah, I was all proud) he's holding his head and is like... "what did you do THAT for???" I told him... "look... I don't like biting, I've told you I don't like biting, obviously you like biting, you need to find someone to bite other than me..."

needless to say, we didn't finish the act (and trust me, I was bummed beyond belief but there was NO WAY IN HELL I was letting those teeth near any, more sensitive, tissue areas of MY body!!!)

he dressed... I dressed... we discussed it for about 3.2 seconds and I told him I was sorry but it wasn't going to work out...

he left...
I went back to the JackRabbit (you know what I mean!!!)

I ran into him the following year... he had this GORGEOUS (and I mean gorgeous) little, petite blonde with him and we did the introductions... all I could think of was how I wanted to see her naked (stop thinking what you are thinking) because I KNOW this chick had to have bite marks all over her body!!!

New template

2006-02-08T11:12:00.000-08:00

I am going for a "Barbie" theme to celebrate my woman-ness

also... I'm celebrating my love of peanut butter and chocolate

Hey... it's better than THREATENING TO EAT KITTENS!!! :)

oh... and... I have a cool, crisp $3000.00 bill for anyone who can tell me how to add a picture to a) my banner and b) my profile...

(try and collect!!!)

blog killer

2006-02-07T04:27:00.000-08:00

someone who emails me (and chooses not to post here) told me that I am a BLOG KILLER...

I was like.. huh?

He said that he follows several blogs that I follow (creepy) and said that I am always the last person to comment on someone elses blog... thus killing the blog... I, of course, needed clarification and he said that when I post on someones blog, no one else wants to post there because I am WEIRD...

first I had to point out that he should never use "always" as it usually isn't always anything... and then...

okay... YOU follow me around blogs, you refuse to post on MY blog, you email me weird stuff like articles from the Christian Monitor and Catholic Digest trying to persuade me to "change my evil ways" and you call me WEIRD???

freak :)

dialation...

2006-02-03T10:02:00.000-08:00

I had my eyes dialated today for the first time...ever... what a freaky experience.

I have poor eyesight, have for years but I have always refused to jump on the corrective lens bandwagon... plus, I've always been farsighted so I can see good enough to drive and walk and crap like that...

but... in the past several months my eyesight has begun to deteriorate to the point where even distance was becoming a problem. Being a farsighted person, in the past I just kept what I was reading at arms length and I could read just fine. If I was reading black text on very white paper, I had to hold it at an angle to read it... stuff like that...

well... my arms aren't long enough to allow me to read... apparently I have no choice but to succomb to nerdism and don a pair of glasses... I went to the Opthomologist this morning for a good once over. I chose that over an optomotrist because I have diabetes and my insurance covers it so... what the hell, might as well get the good once over by an expert. I had the choice of getting bi-focals and wearing the glasses full time or just reading glasses (since I can see well enough to drive) so I opted for the reading/computer glasses only.

During the exam, the doc dialated my eyes and WHOA... what a freaky feeling. I'd never had that done before so I didn't know what to expect exactly... it burned, then it hurt and then it just felt like I had really dry eyes that were really swollen and I couldn't see a damn thing up close!!! I didn't realize that this is an effect that lasts about 4 hours so it's just now starting to wear off.

the plus side is that I'm wearing some "disposable" sunglasses (provided by the doc) and telling all sorts of stories regarding being mugged, beat up, assaulted, etc... and I am covering up black eyes... that and... showing them my dialated pupils and telling them that I smoked a bowl this morning (funny thing is... they believe the second story more than the first... odd... )

Anyway... results of the eye exam were that I appear to be relatively healthy... no signs of high blood pressure, no retinal abnormalities (common with diabetics) no glaucoma (my dad had it) and no cataracts (ditto on the dad thing) but I am nearsighted in one eye, farsighted in the other, a severe estigmatism in one eye and a mile one in the other... oh... and my nose is crooked (but that I knew - it was broken before)

I did get some bitchin' glasses though... If I have to wear them I WILL LOOK COOL doing so dammit!!! the hell with the price tag (okay, so can I borrow some money?)

Heinz Ketchup...

2006-02-01T12:03:00.000-08:00

anticipation.... (get it... Heinz, the song anticipation?) damn, if I gotta go 'splainin everything...

the suspense is killing me... are we moving? aren't we moving? are we taking the dog? aren't we taking the dog? will we settle in Louisville or will we settle somewhere in Indiana? will I be able to remove that yellow wax build up from my floor? (if you aren't old enough to remember "Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman" you totally won't get the yellow wax build up comment)

home hunting

2006-01-30T07:40:00.000-08:00

Okay... so I'm back from Louisville and I must admit I was quite impressed. I was alone most of the time as male unit was meeting and greeting and impressing the hell out of the hillbillies at the "new" plant. So I spent most of my time surfing the neighborhoods of Louisville trying to decide what area I'd like to live in...

One area I decided NOT to live in would be the West Side of Downtown Louisville. And, just to cut off the racists at the pass, yes... it is 99% populated with people who happen to have black colored skin... that was not the reason I don't like it... I don't like it 'cuz I was a'skert when I was driving around and I certainly don't want to be a'skert where I'm living...

This guy at the hotel was oh so helpful in steering me in the direction of areas to check out... in doing so he mention... "you know, if you go over to 9th street and head south to (some street name I forgot) you will find an area where they have built brand new condo's in an area they are refurbishing..." ummm, yeah, I found the new condos, yeah, they were right next to the 2 hookers and 3 crack dealers that were looking at me like... "white girl, you lost?" and pointing pretend pistols at my car, pulling the trigger... nah... not my kinda place. I may play a badass on TV but in reality, I'm a weak, non-violent, tree-hugger and people who sell drugs intimidate me (well... ever since I gave them up in the 80's)

So... anyway... I decided to go East and I fell in love with the area. If I have my choice, we will live there, amongst 4 and 5 story victorian homes built in the early 1900's, blocks from everything I will ever need and just a mile from the downtown hustle and bustle... of course... there's the dog issue and that might put a damper on our choices (we are trying to find something that will accept our dog)

Richard wowed the crowd and apparently will be told this week when he will be expected to be in Indiana... it's no longer an "if" it seems to be a "when" now.

there's always the possibility of renting a house or even buying one... I just don't know how to go about doing that when we LIVE IN FRIGGIN MICHIGAN... but Im sure there's a way to figure that out.

oh... and... it was SIXTY FIVE FRIGGIN DEGREES ON JANUARY 28TH... my kinda winter.

going down south :)

2006-01-26T12:29:00.000-08:00

I won't be here for a few days (I know, I know... how will you all survive?)

I'm going to Louisville tomorrow to check out the neighborhoods we will soon be living in and near...

The man-unit has a "meet and greet" with the people down there and I have a "meet and greet" with the swimming pool at the Holiday Inn :) other than that, I plan on driving around and trying to find the apartments they are suggesting for us to live in (hey, they are paying 6 months of rent... I'll live in a friggin' shoe box!!!)

my youngest is coming home to dog-sit and we are paying her what we'd normally pay the kennel, but other than that, we will not have any other expenses at the company is paying for the hotel, gas and food (or did they say the food will give us gas? - I forget)

supposedly it's about 60° in Louisville every day so I plan on gettin' some warm walking in before we return to the frozen tundra of Detroit...

I'm actually starting to get excited... sure I'm gonna miss my kids but it's not like they live with me... I see them about once a month or so now... so we'll just have to hook up a few times a year... we'll adjust. AND the bestest news of all...the company has hired this real estate firm to see if they can find us a place that will take the doggy!!! WOOHOO!!!

oh... I've (of course) included a picture of my zeusy... he's just a cute widdle baby waby....

blah blah blah

2006-01-23T12:44:00.000-08:00

no... that's not a "fill in" title, it's pretty much how I'm feeling about work at the moment.

A) I'm 90% moving to Louisville so... why bother continuing to do my work as well as everyone else's work that doesn't feel like doing their own?

B) my best friend in the whole entire world (mbfitwew) is gone and there's pretty much no fun time at work anymore... I guess I could go and flirt with the shop rats but that's just not fun anymore either... it's not as fun when I can't make them think their gettin' some... they know better now.

C) the guy who they've put in "charge" of "changing around" the office is a douchbag (thanks to Jenn I have rediscovered that word) he's totally clueless and keeps making these changes that fuck everything up and then says... "well what would you do?" dipshit, I'd ask me first, not after I fucked everything up!!!

D) because of "C" I'm doing twice the work I used to do for the same tasks and I'm suddenly the brains of the opeartion (or so it would appear) as it seems everyone and their ugly cousin keeps coming to me and asking me how to do stuff... FIGURE IT OUT FOR YOURSELVES YOU WORTHLESS AMEOBAS.

E) did I mention I'm moving?

F) I'm getting a buttload of money back on my income taxes... I could quit now and be okay for a while if I could con Richard into picking up the slack...

G) there's nothing I'd like better than to walk into douchebag's office and say... "oh yeah, by the way... FIGURE IT OUT FOR YOURSELF DOUCHBAG... I quit" but I won't

H) because of the added responsibilities I can no longer blog like I want to... and... I'm only up to age 15 in my autobiography and I certainly can't stop there, it's just getting interresting!!!

Willie Nagin and the Chocolate Factory

2006-01-18T05:25:00.000-08:00

I just couldn't let this go by without my "white" comment (I say that because I'll have people tell me I can't comment because I'm white)

New Orlean's Mayor and all around black man told a crowd that New Orleans was going to be rebuilt as a "Chocolate City"... now... I'm not a mensa genius but I know where he's going with that... he, of course, attempted to backpeddle saying that people just misunderstood what he said...

misunderstood "New Orleans will be a Chocolate City"??? oh... did he mean literally? like... N.O. will be this huge bon bon, truffle, chocolate covered cherry? dang... I didn't realize... oh... wait... he didn't mean it literally?

hmmm... then what, exactly, did "we" misunderstand? Is he not referring to black people as "chocolate"? and then go off on some tyrade about malto meal or nestle' quik mixed with white milk creating this wonderful blend of chocolate milk???

oh... and the cheering... the CHEERING MASSES when he said he was going to rebuild the "chocolate city" is just desturbing... unless, of course, they all thought they were getting free Recees Peanut Butter Cups... then it's understandable.

compare that to Hillary Clinton's remark that the Republican House is being run like a "Plantation" in an address to a predominately black audience on MLK/KFC day (that's a joke people) there were no cheers... and people immediately asked for her head on a platter (which, I admit, would be kinda cool) I mean... how in the WORLD can a WHITE woman comment on such a thing??? HOW??? well, lets start with SHE'S A FREAKIN' HUMAN BEING DOUCHBAG and being a human being qualifies you to comment on the human experience regardless of your color...

those who disagree (and I know there are masses who do not) I was never molested as a child by my zit faced uncle with bad breath, but... I am still qualified (by being human) to comment on the subject and offer up an opinion...

well... that's all for now... I'm gonna go get some chocolate milk

I've been tagged

2006-01-17T10:01:00.000-08:00

rt has tagged me... apparently this means I must do what she asks without question :)

so... here goes...

Four Jobs You've Had in Your Life:
1. Mother (my most important)
2. Snack bar at a bowling alley - trust me, it was fun!!!
3. Insurance Agent - home, auto, life... that kinda crap
4. Administration - accounting (current)

Four Movies You Could Watch Over and Over:
1. The Boxer (Daniel Day Lewis... mmmmmmmmmm)
2. Woody Allen's "The Sleeper" (just watch it... you'll see)
3. Band of Brothers - the series
4. Kentucky Fried Movie (I'm weird... what can I say)

Four Places You've Lived:
1. Detroit, Michigan
2. Hazel Park, Michigan
3. Lakeworth, Florida
4. Warren, Michigan (current)
***wait... you guys aren't gonna steel my identity are you???***

Four Websites You Visit Daily:
1. Mine
2. http://www.donotremove.net/mexigogue/
3. http://brainiaxcess.blogspot.com/
4. http://mysilentreverie.blogspot.com/
(in no particular order of "love") and many, many more (can't I mention more?)

Four TV Shows You Love To Watch:
1. Law and Order (I'm a closet homicide investigator)
2. Court TV
3. Blind Date ('dem folks are wildin' OUT!!!)
4. Anything on the History Channel -or- the Antiques Road Show

Four of Your Favorite Foods:
1. Pizza
2. Recees Peanut Butter Cups (but that's world known)
3. chicken - any type
4. Shrimp quesadilla with avacado and lemon and a margarita chaser from Los Galanes in Detroit - I'd recommend it to everyone!!!

Four Albums You Can't Live Without (at least for the moment):
1. Allison Krause with Union Station
2. David Bowie's Greatest Hits (aren't they all great?)
3. Any Jimmy Buffett CD that we own
4. Kidd Rock (he secretly wants me)

Four Places You'd Rather Be:
1. Key West (or Marathon Key, I'm not picky)
2. Anyplace warm where I can go barefooted on the sand and swim in the ocean
3. Guntersville, Alabama
4. Home sleeping

Four People Who Are Now Obligated To Do This to Their Blog:
I shall not obligate anyone to do so but... if your mentioned here and don't... I will rip your arm off and beat you with it :)

Leave it to Beaver

2006-01-16T10:24:00.000-08:00

Ink in the dryer

2006-01-16T04:59:00.000-08:00

Okay... so my hubby and I are not speaking and here's the story.

I guess I should clairify, my hubby is not speaking to ME... I've tried to speak to him but, apparently, that's nagging so I had to stop :)

Friday night my daughter Alanna (from here forward referred to as A-lo) came over to do her laundry. she was moving from one apartment to another on Saturday and had a ton of laundry... anyway... I had school Saturday morning so I went to bed about 11 and she was still there. When I woke up Saturday morning there was a note on the table saying that there had been a pen in a pants pocket that exploded in the dryer. She tried to clean it with soap and water and bleach... but couldn't get it out... told me to call her if I could think of a way to get it out and she'd come over and clean it.

Well... having Richard in the house, this has happened about 5 times now and we've gotten pretty good at getting it out with a warm dryer, hairspray and a lot of scrubbing. You need the pump style hairspray, not the aerosol... I didn't have any at 6am on Saturday... so I scrubbed the best I could and got some of it out... I couldn't do more as I needed to get ready for my class. Richard got up and got all huffy and pissed off about the whole thing... he needed to do laundry. I tried to explain that I'd done what I could, A-lo had done what she could and I'd have to take care of it when I got home at 2:00...

apparently this was not good enough. When I got home he was all pissed off... AT ME!!! I was like... ummm... why are you mad at me? I didn't even do anything!!! I tried to get him to talk about it like an adult... all he wanted to do was pout. I think this just gave him a reason to pout. we went to lunch and he ignored me the whole time. we were supposed to go out to a new bar later... he decided he didn't want to go... finally he broke his silence and said... "how come when I did this you bitched until I cleaned it, but when it's A-lo, you cleaned it?" I laughed...

ummm... the last time it happened, I spent 2 hours cleaning the dryer 'cuz you were sick... I've never bitched about it - ever - it's an accident, accident's happen and it's not a malicious thing, it just happened... doesn't matter who fixes it... it just needs to be fixed.

so... he's mad at me because I didn't call A-lo at 6am Saturday morning and insist that she come over and clean it immediately!!! I tried to explain that A) it was early and B) she was moving that day and if I could get it clean (which I did) I would... just like when he did it and I cleaned it... it was no big deal.

anyway... I had to watch all the football games by myself and eat sunday dinner alone...

actually... it was rather quiet and not that bad of a deal :)

2006-01-13T11:56:00.000-08:00

My (other) baby

2006-01-12T04:41:00.000-08:00

Well... we all know my zeusy-dog is my baby... but... here's my other baby...

obviously NOT wanting his picutre taken and not quite "throwin' the horns" as (apparently) so many bloggers are into these days... but... he's 'throwin' somethin' in my direction...

read quick - I might delete this

2006-01-10T12:03:00.000-08:00

I'm frustrated today... here's a long list of things that are bothering me... mind you, they might not bother me tomorrow so I might delete them...

1) it bugs me when someone is treated different (by different I guess I mean better) because they happen to be related to someone in power
2) when there is a problem that I can't solve and I ask the person who is paid to solve it for help and he tells me to solve it myself... I want to rip his right arm off and beat him with it
3) my butt muscles hurt but I guess the promise of "buns of steel" is worth it
4) i don't want to take another math class... yet I have one starting Thursday... I'm half considering dropping it and taking it later
5) i want chocolate - and - peanut butter
6) friends that really aren't friends irritates me... if you don't like me and all you really want is information... just tell me that so I can tell you to f*uck off
7) my friend mary is leaving... thursday is her last day... what will I do now?
8) i can't invoice a job without a purchase order... I can't get a purchase order without a name and phone number to call and ask for one... I can't get a phone number by pulling it out of my ASS... so... DO YOUR FRIGGIN' JOB AND GET ME A PHONE NUMBER... I'll take care of the rest (I wish I could say that, but, he's my boss... not a wise move)
9) all the beans i'm eating are making me gassy and I can't fart because I share an office with someone
10) having to go to the bathroom to fart pisses me off
11) being pissed off isn't like me... am I hormonal??? hmmmm... let me check... NOPE... I'M JUST PISSED OFF!!!
12) being told that I'm pissed off because I'm hormonal isn't a smart thing to tell someone if you really think their hormonal... they might just RIP YOUR ARM OFF AND BEAT YOU WITH IT!!!
13) sometimes I'm actually pissed off because stupid people have done stupid things and then I have to compensate for their stupidity by doing what they should have done in the first place... this has nothing to do with hormones and everything to do with THEIR STUPIDITY
14) i really can't listen to ANY MORE COUNTRY MUSIC OR I'M GOING TO RIP SOMEONE'S ARM OFF AND BEAT THEM WITH IT!!!

there... I'm done :)

unstable???

2006-01-09T12:12:00.000-08:00

Someone suggested that I am "unstable" today...

hmmmmm.....

Country Music

2006-01-09T06:41:00.000-08:00

Okay... so I'm not normally a country music kinda girl... but I do find that I enjoy the hell out of a lot of Toby Keith's songs... he's got this new one out: "Get drunk and be somebody"... and everytime (AND I MEAN EVERY TIME) I hear the song (the geek who I share an office with is all about country music) but... everytime I hear the song I think of my blog buddies... maybe 'cuz you guys are always talking about gettin' the beers in.

this is for all ya'll "beer's in" gang...

Yeah, all week long, I'm a real nobody,
But I just punched out an' it's pay cheque Friday.
Weekend's here, good God Almighty:
I'm gonna get drunk an' be somebody, (Somebody.)
Yeah, yeah yeah.

We're just average people in an every day bar.
Drivin' from work in our ordinary car.
An' I like to come here with regular Joes,
Drink all you want: be the star of the show.

All week long, we're some real nobodies,
But we just punched out: it's pay cheque Friday.
Weekend's here, good God Almighty:
People, let's get drunk an' be somebody, (Let's get drunk.)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

now if he could just squeeze in a chorus about pool... we'd be all set!!! :)

Walmart

2006-01-06T11:45:00.000-08:00

okay... so anyone that knows me (and none of you do) knows that I'm not real fond of Walmart... not for any of the "regular - bandwagon" issue reasons but because I find it to be like K-mart or... Piggly Wiggly even... it's just an irritating store to go in. There's never enough cashiers, never anyone to help with anything, the damn store smells like friggin' POPCORN 24/7 (which starts me salivating uncontrollably - it's embarassing really) the aisles are so friggin' jam packed that you can't push a cart through them (so you leave your cart 5 feet away and some lady with 11 kids steels it) stuff is cheap and I don't just mean in price... and my daughter tells me that they are unfair to Mexican workers... yeah, okay... so? (I KID... I KID!!!)

so... anyway...

Today I'm reading CNN.com and there's this Walmart article... I figure I'm bored so I'll check it out... and it's talking about when people visited Walmarts website and searched for "African American Movies" they got titles such as... "Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" and "Planet of the Apes"...

Now.. I'm not a racist and I don't even play one on TV but... but this was freakin' funny to me... I mean.. yeah... it's just funny... but then again... I'm weird.

Now... with that said.. I think Walmart is just stupid beyond belief for all the reasons listed above and this just drove in another nail for me... and not because this so called "glitch" happened... hey, whatever, it happened, get over it... no one died (yet)... but then they had to open their mouths and responded to the criticism...

apparently their response was something to the effect of (and I'm going from memory so don't sue me) 'we are appalled... we understand that sometimes humor is appropriate, sometimes it isn't...'

humor? so.. wait... this was a PLANNED (hoped to be funny) marketing ploy? LMFAO!!!

dumbasses...

now, while I personally found it funny... and no one I know of color would have been offended and they would have equally found it funny (cuz all my friends are sick, like me)... what the hell was a major corporation thinking of when they were coming up with that marketing idea??? are they all just sitting around going...

"yeah, Ron.. listen to this one... this is a HOOT... lets link all sorts of unrelated movies to African Americans... WHOOOHOOO now to make it even MORE funny... lets make them movies about CHOCOLATE AND MONKEYS... get it??? Black people? Chocolate? woo friggin' HOO!!! wow... can you hear the laughs now?"

dumbasses... I swear

Jury duty

2006-01-06T06:26:00.000-08:00

Don't know if I've mentioned this yet... and I'm way to lazy to go back and read... but...

I got selected for possible jury duty. Now, while I'm totally cool about the whole civic duty crap, I have a problem with my school schedule and the rat bass-turds won't let me get out of it!!!

Okay... before you call me a whiner without merit... part of my getting into nursing school is; grades, recommendations, personal experience, entrance test and ATTENDANCE... so if this messes up my PERFECT ATTENDACE FOR THE PAST 4 SEMESTERS I'm gonna blow a gasket and waste everyone at the court house...

JUST KIDDING... no need to notify homeland security and tap my phone

I doubt I'll get picked... I'm a Libra and everyone knows Librans are all about justice and crap like that... I'm also way liberal in a conservative sort of way. Truly, I'd have to be 100% convinced and there could be NO reasonable doubt at all for me to convict someone to lose their freedom. I'm not one to be bullied by the fat, bald guy in a stained pin-stripped short sleeved "dress" shirt jurist who says the guy is guilty...

I'm also very stubborn... I'd sit there for 7 years before I'd change my mind... unless chocolate is involved... if chocolate is involved I'm flexible... mix in some peanut butter and the guy will fry for all I care!!!

So apparently there's this "new proceedure" and I have to call every night between 5 and 8 pm to see if I have to appear the next day (sounds like mind control to me - I have half a mind to rebel but I appreciate MY freedom too much) so I guess I'm become a conformist...

Oh... and... my daughters boyfriends dad is a freakin' JUDGE and even HE can't get me out of it...

what good is it to have connections if they don't help me none???

A year in reflection... 2005

2006-01-04T06:12:00.000-08:00

I've been on this earth for a long, long time and I think this is the first time ever that I will actually reflect on one particular year, inspired by Jenn... so... here goes...

I fell in love with my hubby-wannabe even more every day
I got to see my 2nd daughter graduate college
I got a subtantial raise even though I had gone part time the year before
I began the remodeling process of the house
I bought power tools and had power tools bought for me :)
I was scared to within inches of flipping out when Richard was sick and the doctor said... "he will be in intensive care for 48 hours because this could turn fatal very quickly" I never want to lose that man
I went to 4 Detroit Tiger's games
I went to an All Star Fan Fest party - I even got drunk!!!
I went to a Cubs game for the first time as well as Chicago for the first time
I bought a George Brett rookie card for Richard - he almost had an orgasm when I gave it to him - not 'cuz he couldn't have gotten it himself, but because I cared enough to get it for him
I went to the beach for the first time in several years... we even played "Marco-Polo" like geeky 7 year olds...
I went fishing... twice
I helped my youngest daughter get her education back on track with a sit down "come to Jesus" meeting... and she is now thriving and redirected towards her goals
I got to celebrate my oldest daughter getting her "dream job" and beamed with pride when she thanked me for instilling in her the drive to go for her dreams
I went to see Finger's Taylor play his little harmonica and realized that some people truly can bring an instrument to life and enchant me
I completed year one in college with a 4.0gpa... cuz I rock
I had tickets to a Lion's game and gave them away - best decision I ever made :)
Lost 20 pounds... 20 more to go

2006... Bring it on!!!

My "vacation"

2006-01-03T06:28:00.000-08:00

I'm back from my hiatus... here's how my holiday went...

Friday the 23rd was our work Christmas party... it went okay I guess. I usually stay afterwards to help clean up and stuff but I was determined to not do that this year... I was, though, roped into the big bosses office for some "wine tasting" which was actually quite nice... I ended up leaving the normal time I would have if I had worked... but I guess that was okay.

We had Christmas for my middle child on Friday as she was working the weekend... that was actually fun... then we left for Ohio.

we spent Christmas eve in a heated indoor pool at the hotel... that was VERY nice... then we went to the family gathering and that was okay... but back at the hotel was really REALLY nice...

Christmas was cool... the other kids came over early and opened presents and then left so Rick and I had the day to ourselves... very relaxing.

I completed all of my tasks except one, I didn't get the pass through cut between the livingroom and kitchen... Richard would like to ponder it for a while longer before I go through with it... I think he thinks I can't do it - but I have a back up friend who is a carpenter, so if I get into trouble he could help me out - but anyway... all other tasks were completed and I even did some touch-up painting in our bedroom that had been scraped up with moving furniture in and out...

New Years Eve was spent having a very good pizza... a few beers... some Bailey's and Butterscotch Schnapps (aka a "Slippery Nipple") and in bed by 11:15... we just couldn't keep our eyes open!!! oh well.. we're old!!!

My best friend (who I work with) is giving her notice today... I don't know what I'll do without her

My hubby-to-be got some (sorta) bad news from work... it appears they might be closing his plant in March, but there is a good possibility they might transfer him to a different one (about an hour away) and even another possibility that they might transfer him to Louisville, Kentucky!!! I'm game whatever they decide... he's just worried about me leaving my kids and... school... if it's meant to be though, it's meant to be... and I go where he goes... that's the rules!!! :)

other than that... here I am, back at work... awaiting the notification by management that Mary is leaving and preparing for the backlash that will be LINDA... YOU KNOW YOU KNEW SHE WAS LEAVING!!! oh well... they'll live and I have no obligation to anyone to share personal information gathered about another employee outside of work... even if I am management... but... I'm sure I'll hear about it.

welcome to 2006

bye for now... but not for long

2005-12-22T12:27:00.000-08:00

So with this post I will be saying bye for a little while... I will be very busy tomorrow (Friday the 23rd) with our "holiday" office party as I'm one of the hostesses with the mostestess and will be setting up, distributing stuff, running the gift drawing, etc...

Then... I will be off of work for a wonderful and glorious 10 whole days!!! I don't blog from home as my home time is very important to me (and, well... work time just isn't that important to me) so I won't be back until the 3rd of January. I always take the day after new years as a holiday... I hate to come back the same day as everyone and listen to all the idle chatter of how their kid threw up on their grandpa and how someone forgot batteries for their camera... idle... happens in every family... get over it.

Anyway... don't think I'll just be increasing the size of the ass-groove in the couch... oh nooooooo... I have chores planned!!!

A) I am cutting a pass-through between my living room and kitchen and putting a small bar top on it. this will take me all of 2 days I'm sure... would be worse but there isn't any wiring on that wall and it's not weight bearing so it should be pretty simple... thanks dad for teaching me stuff.

B) I'm painting my livingroom (after I get the hole in the wall finished) that should only take me the biggest part of a day.

C) I'm refinishing an antique (old, not valuable) wardrobe that belonged to my grandfather (we called him 'granny' - I don't know why) actually, I'm modifying it to become my television/entertainment center.... all I have to do is take the doors off, add some supports, a nice piece of oak or maybe even cedar (for the smell) as a shelf... little bit of tweeking and it will be a work of art.

E) cleaning out my basement... completely... NO REALLY... I'm throwing everything out cuz I really don't need any of it... and I am preparing to rip out ceiling tiles and walls... paint and get a 1/2 bath installed down there (yeah, I'm paying someone to do the bathroom thing... that's a bit over my capabilities)

F) clean out the shed... I cleaned the garage already but I've never cleaned the shed since I had it re-roofed and it's a mess

G) sleep in
H) stay up late
I) drink lots of Bailey's that I'm sure I'm getting for Christmas!!!

So... to all of you who visit me and to all of those of you who comment and to all of those of you who want me in the worst way (just checking to see if you are still reading)

MERRY CHRISTMAS... HAPPY CHANUKA... HAPPY KWANZA... FELIZ NAVIDAD... SHALOM...

and for the rest of you...

ummm...

happy haircut day
happy Jesus' birthday
happy yearly bathing day

well... you get the point...

of course... I really wish none of you any more happiness, peace and all and out fun than I do any other day of the year!!!

oh... and apparently I'd be remiss if I didn't say... GET THE BEERS IN ON NEW YEARS EVE!!!

I don't know Karate... but I know KAWAZEE!!!

2005-12-21T05:29:00.000-08:00

Explicit language to follow:

okay... so Friday we posted a note on the fridge here at work... "The refrigerator will be cleaned out and the freezer defrosted on Tuesday, 12/19... if you do not remove the items in the refrigerator it will be assumed that you are okay with them being thrown away..."

Inevitably... some people left their crap in the fridge... so... we (being me) went around and told people who we thought might have left things in the fridge to remove them or they would be thrown out... I told several people including the freak I will now write about...

12/20
Me: Larry, can you mop the floor in the lunch room, some of the defrosting water was rusty and it made a mess on the floor...
Larry: Sure, I'll go do that now...
Bobby: Wait a minute... I've got to get my stuff out of the freezer before you clean it...
Me: Bobby, it was cleaned already, it's been off since yesterday after lunchtime
Bobby: What? Fuck that... I had shit in the freezer... how come someone didn't move my stuff?
Me: Bobby, it has been posted for days... I told you personally yesterday... you said you'd remove it... it's not my job to make sure you do what you should do
Bobby: God Dammit... Mother Fucker!!! I had two pies in there I bought, they were $10.00 each... I just lost fuckin' $20.00!!!
Me: if they were frozen, just put them in the fridge and when you get home tonight, bake them...
Bobby: They were for Christmas... god damn.. this if fuckin' bullshit...

okay... so at this point I'm about to go postal on this guy if he doesn't stop swearing at me... note that as he's yelling AT me... the veins on his neck are popping out... his eyes are all wild like he's wanting to hit me...

Me: Bobby, first off, don't swear at me, I notified you, you had a chance to remove your stuff and you didn't... that's not my problem... the refrigerator gets cleaned out every year before our Christmas break...
Bobby: well someone is going to refund my fucking $20.00!!!
Me: I certainly hope you aren't suggesting it be me? and like I said... keep your swearing to yourself or to someone who cares...
Bobby: Fuck that too!!!
Me: I've had enough of your inability to control your temper...

I went to our boss... I'm so totally sick of this crap... he's always taking out his personal problems on his co-workers, mainly me... he's in there now getting a "what for" from the head honcho...

If that doesn't work... I'm gonna go all KAWAZEE on his ass!!! Merry Freakin' Christmas!!!

question...

2005-12-20T12:00:00.000-08:00

Do all of you have several people that won't comment on your blog but send you emails instead? I used to respond to the emails but lately I've decided that it's just too irritatingly time consuming, plus, do they think that I'm gonna hook up with them or something??? I mean... I have these 2 guys (and if you've commented on my blog it's NOT YOU) who have never commented on my blog but they email me regularly... one of them recently came right out and asked if I wanted to meet over the holidays... um... ARE YOU FRIGGIN' NUTS??? the other one has hinted at it before but has never come right out and said it... a few other times this has happened too...

so my question is... is a blog a normal "pick up" sorta thing??? I mean... it's not like it's a dating site or even instant messaging or anything. If it is considered as such... I might have to reconsider my participation and that might irritate me.

I started this blog a while back to start compiling information for the book I'm writing (it's in a "hidden" blog segment - ya'll can't read it) and I just do the whole "nut shell" thing as a time killer. I'm completely and totally happily involved and have no intention of "hooking up" with anyone (unless Brad Pitt breaks up with Angie... then I'd be available... for either one) :)

So I was just wondering if this whole "blog thing" is a big singles cyber bar or am I okay just blogging and ignoring the curious masses... (okay, yes, I consider 2 guys to be the "masses" - I'm easy!)

where's my cookies BIATCH!!!

2005-12-19T06:01:00.000-08:00

Okay... so Carol (see previous post of Carol-isms) is a few ants short of a picnic... but she's lovable so I tollerate her.

Anyway... she's well known for saying she's gonna do something and not doing it. For instance, I used to come in on Friday's at 12:30 due to classes in the AM, she'd always ask on Thursday... "Hey, you want in on the pizza tomorrow? I'll save you some..." and then I'd get there Friday and yep... no pizza... or she'd make a $5.00 bet on something, lose and then say... "yeah, but we didn't shake on it so I don't owe you..." crap like that...

so last Friday she said... "do you want to come over this weekend and help me bake cookies?" I declined... I was busy. "Yeah, I'm gonna bake cookies all day Saturday... I'm gonna make peanut butter, oatmeal, no-bake, sugar cookies..." etc... I said... "are you gonna bring some in?" "Oh yeah... that's why I'm making them... for people here at work..."

So... I get into work this morning, 6:30, bright and early... and THERE'S NO FRIGGIN' COOKIES... I didn't stop and get my bagel and coffee cuz I wanted COOKIES... but NOOOOOOOOOO, yet again, she said it but didn't do it... I should learn...

Me: Where's the cookies?
Carol: What cookies?
Me: The ones you made over the weekend
Carol: What are you talking about? I didn't make cookies...
Me: Carol, you said you were baking cookies all day Saturday... you said you were bringing them in to work.. YOU SAID!!!
Carol: I did not say I was baking cookies...

now... I've got her!!!

Me: Carol, you asked me to find a recipe for peanut butter cookies... you asked me to find you a recipe for the seven layer cookies... I printed them out on Friday, you said you were making them...
Carol: oh, right... I decided not to...

That's it... no appology... no "here, let me buy you a hostess cupcake from the vending machine..." nothing... she just decided not to...

HOW CAN YOU DECIDE NOT TO MAKE FREAKIN' CHRISTMAS COOKIES!!! I WANT COOKIES!!! BRING ME COOKIES DAMMIT!!!

okay, I'm better now...

I will leave you all with some Carol-isms

2005-12-16T12:50:00.000-08:00

Carol is our receptionist... she is also the bosses wife's sister... need I say more?

(after the Tsunami tragedy – we’re discussing the disaster)
Carol: yeah, and then there was another one
Me: what are you talking about?
Carol: yeah, there were two of them
Me: two what?
Carol: two nami’s
Me: Carol, it’s a TSUNAMI not a twonami… that’s the name
Carol: oh

( I walk up to the reception area and she’s covering one eye and then the other)
Me: is something wrong with your eye?
Carol: I don’t know… but for some reason when I cover my right eye, my left eye is blurry but when I cover my left eye, the right one isn’t (she's 45 years old by the way... not like she's 12)
Me: so you have a different vision in each eye?
Carol: No… I can see the same thing out of each eye…

(my boss tells me to go and ask Carol about her new pen)
Me: wow… that’s a cool looking pen, where’d ya get it?
Carol: it’s one of those promotion things… it’s really cool… it writes with all different colors of ink
Me: really? Cool… let me see (I look it over – try it out) Carol, it’s blue ink… where’s the other colors?
Carol: I don’t know, but just all of a sudden it will change ink colors
Me: Really? Show me…
Carol: I can’t make it happen… it just starts writing in a different color ink for no reason
(now I admit I’m intrigued… and confused… so I go and ask my boss… he tells me that when she leaves her desk for a break he changes the ink cartridge in the pen so it writes different colors)

(and yet another pen incident – I walk up to the reception desk and she is feverishly clicking the pen button in and out, in and out, in and out with it about ½ inch from her face… staring at it intently)
Me: Carol… what are you doing?
Carol: This pen is really cool… when you click it really fast it makes this electrical thingy and the pen glows…
Me: Carol… have you seen this happen?
Carol: no, but your boss told me it does…

(I am copying stuff in the reception area… I hear this duck sound… I turn around…)
Duck: Aflac
Me: what’s that?
Carol: it’s an Aflac duck… the representative gave it to me isn’t it cute?
Me: sure… adorable…
(she squeezes it again… makes it talk “Aflac”)
Carol: Quack!
I laugh
Me: what?
(she squeezes it again “Aflac”)
Carol: Quack!
Me: what are you doing?
Carol: the duck is saying “All Quack” so I’m quacking!!!
Me: Carol, it say’s “Aflac”
Carol: no it doesn’t… that’s stupid… why would it say that? (she squeezes it again “Aflac”)
Carol: see… it said “All Quack!”
Carol: Quack!!!
Me: Dear Jesus, Mary and Joseph… nevermind!!!

Freakin' SNOW!!!

2005-12-16T04:34:00.000-08:00

it started snowing wednesday night and by thursday morning we had about an inch of snow (on top of the 6 inches we got last week) then they said we "might" get another 2-4 inches throughout the day... depended on the jet stream or some crap like that... then... IT PROCEEDED TO SNOW ALL FREAKING DAY LONG... and we got about 8 inches of snow (did I mention... on top of the 6 inches we got LAST WEEK?)...

so anyway... it's about 3pm, I'm at work... this guy (who is very cute by the way) comes up to me and says... "yeah, they just said on the news that we're gonna get an inch an hour until midnight... at least 8 more inches..." and, of course, I had to say (without considering that this guy might not like sexual overtones) "can't I just get my 8 inches all at once???"

I've never embarrassed a guy so bad in my LIFE...

maybe he didn't have 8 inches to give? :)

Read 'em and weap BITCHES!!!

2005-12-15T04:43:00.000-08:00

the "bitches" part was for Jenn :)

Pharmacology for Nur A (4.0) Honor Points 16.0
Med Terminology A (4.0) Honor Points 16.0
Oral Communication A (4.0) Honor Points 16.0
Asepsis A (2.0) Honor Points 8.0
Inf Tech Spread Shee A (2.0) Honor Points 8.0

Current Credits 16.0 Ern 16.0 Honor Points 64.00/64.0 possible
Cumulative Credits 55.0 Ern 55.00 Honor Points 184.00/184.00 possible
Academic Standing: President's List
Current GPA 4.0
Overall GPA 4.0

Juanita Lopez

2005-12-14T04:49:00.000-08:00

My ex-mother-in-law died last night...

this is sad to me as I've known her since I was 14 years old (when my ex and I started dating) and she was more of a mother to me than my own mother was... and taught me a lot (not the least of which was how to make awesome Mexican rice and homemade tamales). She truly was a wonderful woman and I loved her.

she was diagnosed with end stage liver cancer earlier this year and was given 3-6 months to live. she had chemo-therapy and radiation therapy and it helped a little but they couldn't get the cancer to go into remission. she did live longer than expected but not by much. she suffered in great pain for the past few months so I do feel that she is, at least, no longer in pain and at rest.

my oldest daughter called me last night and told me the news. I was sad... for her, for my other daughters, for the family and for myself.

I had not seen Juanita in a couple years - a separation that was necessary due to the strained relationship with my ex-husband. I'm now having an emotional dillema as to how to express my sympathy. I have decided not to attend (in person) any type of funeral services - as I have a restraining order against my ex-husband and seeing that he has (recently) threatened to do me bodily harm, I don't feel comfortable being there... yet... I feel terrible that I can't go and support the family that meant so much to me for so many years... this really pisses me off.

the other side of the coin is my current husband-in-training... he is confused at my being torn between loyalty to Juanita and her family and my disdain for my ex-husband... as he was a witness to the recent tirade and threat to my life from my ex... he is actually the one who called the police and "protected" me... now he's like... "why would you even consider doing anything for the family?" he doesn't understand that the "family" is my concern... not the "ex".

no matter what I decide to do... it's a sad end to a wonderful life.

mom... did I tell you what I want for Christmas?

2005-12-13T10:40:00.000-08:00

my youngest daughter called me this morning... "mom, did I tell you what I want for Christmas?" I laughed... "kinda late isn't it? what if I'd already shopped?" which I hadn't... I never do... she knows this...

"it's not much... I need some Dr. Dan's lip balm, new bras, garlic and a vacuum cleaner..."

I don't even want to ask what she's got going on... lip balm, bra, garlic, suction... hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

weekend update....

2005-12-12T05:40:00.000-08:00

I had a great weekend. Saturday was my last final exam for the semester and I now have just over a month break. I aced my Med Term test and got an A in the class... just awaiting the grades in my other 3 classes but I do believe, mathmatically, I will get A's in all of them... maintaining 5 semesters of a 4.0gpa... go me... go me... go me!!!

Anyway... Saturday hubby and I went shopping to a quaint little downtown area near us... we bought about $100.00 of Michigan made products for our Christmas baskets for relatives... but we ate the fudge we bought - chocolate/peanut butter cheesecake flavored bliss!!!

Then we ate lunch at this piano bar place... I had a cosmopolitan... the music was soft and comfortable and It was very relaxing... We did some more shopping... nothing major... just slow, browsing and lots of "ohhhh... that's so cute..." kinda stuff... the major rush and powershopping starts this week... the weekend was for calm and relaxing.

Sunday we went to breakfast and then took a nap... we watched some football, had a snowball fight, took zeusy for a walk (without a leash... he was in HEAVEN) and then bbq'd some awesome steaks to go with our awesome salad and awesome twice baked potato and homemade peanut butter cookies (okay, so it was dough from a tub, but I still baked them!!!) we ate by candlelight (about 25 or so lit throughout the house) and the light from tree... hubby had a B&B after dinner drink... I slugged back some chocolate milk... mmmmmmmmmmm

really... I'm very thankful for my hubby in training... and my life... and... well... pretty much everything and this past weekend was a great celebration of that...

of course, at 5:00am this morning... reality returned!!!

I just heard this commercial...

2005-12-08T05:53:00.000-08:00

it might be old but I heard it for the first time today and I think this will become my new mantra...

I will not stop to smell the roses unless the roses are beers atop salted pretzel rod stems

there... that's how I feel

(not to mention, with this cold I can't smell anything)

still sick...

2005-12-08T05:23:00.000-08:00

okay... so now I've been sick since saturday... IT'S THURSDAY already!!! Its such a minor cold that I've been able to work but it's irritating enough that I wish I was at home in bed.

as if thats not bugging me enough... I have another final tonight... it should be relatively easy... just the mechanism of giving speeches... but the fact that I have to take yet another final while sick is just making it worse and I just feel like whining all day!!! of course, it wouldn't make any difference and no one would listen to me anyway...

So... on top of that we are expecting a WINTER SNOW STORM beginning tonight with anywhere from 1-8 inches of snow (depending on which weather person you listen to) but apparently it will probably be about 4-5 inches...

great...

I have the day off work tomorrow (I think - either the day off or a half day, I'll have to check) so I will spend my day (probably) shoveling snow from my 80 feet of driveway and 100 feet of sidewalk... with a cold... coughing... sneezing... achy...

does anyone feel bad for me at all??? ANYONE???

I think I'll call my mommy... she'll fawn all over my being sick... tell me how I need to go to the doctor, not work, forget school... let the housework go...

yeah... mommy will cheer me up

finals....

2005-12-07T06:16:00.000-08:00

So... I have this crappy cold thing going on... at least now it's starting to break loose in my lungs ... since Saturday it had been sitting on my chest like a hairy monkey.

Last night though, I had my pharmacology final exam... 100 questions of things like... "Thiazides cause all of the following side effects except: blah blah blah" and I'm thinking... I feel like poopy-crap and I am actually going to be expected to remember this crap...

I took 1/2 day off, went home and napped for a couple hours, got up and started studying while popping about 500 sugar-free halls cough drops. my class started at 6pm, I leave about 5pm... and just before I get ready to leave I feel this startling rumble in my intestines... startling in the sense that I am not sick to my stomach but suddenly I feel the need to do the green-apple two-step to the bathroon... which I did... and then again... and then again... okay.. so now it's almost 5:30, I can't be late so I just pop a couple tablespoons of pepto bismol and hit the road.

I made it to class on time but needed to use the facilities prior to the test starting, I think the professor thought I was trying to cheat somehow as she looked at me with this quizzical... "hmmmm... should I let her go" look... UMMMM YES.... YOU NEED TO LET ME GO DIMWIT!!!" I mean, what was I going to do? poop out my study notes???

Luckily, the final went relatively quickly... I was done in about 20 minutes (go me for studying HARD) and was able to leave before Mt. McKinley erupted again...

when I got home I popped another cough drop, turning it over to read the packages "drug facts"(now that I'm a pharmacological genius) oh yeah... the "sugar free" type contains an artificial sweetener that has a "laxative effect" some refer to as "anal leakage"...

oh joy!!!

I'm sick

2005-12-06T07:28:00.000-08:00

no... really... I have a bad cold...

and this is finals week... OF COURSE!!!

blah...

the 12 inch cord (and other related stories)

2005-12-01T10:13:00.000-08:00

Okay... so this is a slight venture from my normal rantings but I had lunch today with an old friend and it brought so many (blurry) memories back to the forefront... here's the 12 inch cord story...

So... four of us girls are at the bar one Friday night after play rehearsal (I used to be involved in community theatre - another story for another day) but it was us four... the same four that usually went out after practice, me, Mary, and the Ford sisters. Mary always used to be my designated driver so I was given the opportunity to get plastered... which I did. Anyway... me and the older Ford sister had to pee... we went to the bathroom and she proceeded to tell me about her vibrator she had just bought... "it's electric powered... none of those whimpy batteries... it's very powerful..." now, at this point I'm laughing my ass off because I'm drunk and it's been a long and funny conversation and... well... I'm being loud (apparently) and my loud laughter is just fueling her story with more and more details... then she tells me...

"there's just one problem with it..."
"what's that?"
"it only has a 12 inch cord"
"WHAT?"
"the vibrator... it only comes with a 12 inch cord and I can't find a freekin' extension cord so when I want to use it I have to stand up next to the wall or lay on the floor with my legs in the air..."

she then starts banging her palm against the wall (ala when Harry met Sally orgasm scene) writhing with feined pleasure moaning as though she's getting ready for the big one... I'm choking with laughter... I'm blue from lack of oxygen... tears are flowing...

"why don't you just buy an extension cord?"
"I never remember... it's not like everytime I go to K-mart I'm thinking about my vibrator..."
"well hell... if I had an electric vibrator it would be on my mind 24/7"
she then proceeds to sit on the bathroom floor and attempts to put her legs up in the air... moaning loudly... falls over, knocks over the garbage can... we're both laughing so hard... being loud and obnoxious... we finish with all of our bathroom escapades and go back out into the bar where...

we got a standing ovation from the entire bar... the guys are hootin' and hollerin' we are getting whistles and "woohoo"s she and I are looking at each other like... ummm... what'd we do??? we sat down and our other friends are laughing so hard they are crying... I say...

"okay, you want to fill us in on the joke?"

after Mary caught her breath she tells us that the entire bar could hear our bathroom conversation... of course I was mortified (at first) but after careful (drunken) consideration I decided that she and I needed to stand up and take a bow... which we did - receiving yet another round of applause...

that was the same night the guy at the table next to us lit himself on fire...

good times... good times...

My favorite place on earth

2005-11-29T07:08:00.000-08:00

Here is my favorite place on earth... unfortunately it's where my mother lives :)

This is Lake Guntersville, Alabama

she made it home

2005-11-22T11:07:00.000-08:00

Mom called yesterday to tell me she made it home okay... she spent a quarter for that? (I'm so mean)

Anyway... she says..

"Linda, I had so much fun... my brother (my uncle thad that I don't like) said he goes up to Michigan 3 or 4 times a year and I can go with him whenever he goes... so I'll be able to visit more often!!!"

oh goody!!!

"mom, that's cool and all... but when you come up next time, we are only inviting the family over for one day..."
"why?"
"because mom, 3 days in a row was too much for me..."
"why?"
"mom, I have the dog who is psycho, I have school and homework, I am in the process of remodeling the house room by room... and I am not the social butterfly you are..."
"well they're your family!"
"yeah, the same family that hasn't called me once in 4 years... they're precious"
"well you can call them..."
"I'm 43 years old, I kept my relationship with all of them going for 39 of them... it's their turn..."
"well, I'm not telling my family they can't come and visit me..."
"and I don't expect you to, they can visit YOU anytime they want... at YOUR house... or... you can go to theirs when you get here..."
"Ken doesn't like company, it makes him nervous..."
"well, it makes me nervous and I don't like it either..."
"that's silly"
"why is it silly for me and not silly for Ken?"
"he's an alcoholic..."
"I'll start drinking..."
"don't be dumb"
"too late..."
"you should be happy your family wants to see you..."
"why?"
"because... they are your family..."
"not following your logic mom... because they are my family I should be happy that they want to see me? but... they didn't want to see me... they wanted to see you, if they wanted to see me they wouldn't have waited until you came to visit..."
"they miss you..."
"yeah, like a chapped ass... well either way, the next time you come up, we will plan one day for them to come over for dinner, anyone else comes any other day, they don't get fed..."
"well that's just stupid..."
"no mom, that's just the way I want it..."
"well you shouldn't..."
"but I do..."
"well I can't just invite people over and not feed them..."
"you can invite people over all you want... to YOUR house... and you can feed them chocolate covered butt holes for all I care... but at MY house, we will have one dinner... that's it, final, fini, zip-zilch-zippo... that's it... like it or... don't visit..."
"then I just won't visit then... "
"works for me... listen, I gotta go... the green tea is ready..."

have you had your pap smear? (and other mom-isms)

2005-11-21T13:36:00.000-08:00

Okay... within 15 minutes of picking up my mother she was already asking me if I've had my annual pap smear (it's a gynecological exam for those who don't know - meaning MEN) I didn't answer...

"Linda, have you?"
"mom, unlike you, I don't feel the need to share every single bit of information regarding my medical history so I am not answering..."
"but I want to know..."
"too bad, I'm not talking to you about it..."
"but why? I want to know..."
"you are nosey and I'm not, I'm don't find it necessary to talk to you about this..."
"but you are my daughter and I NEED to know..."
"mother, stop asking I am not telling you..."
"well it's important that you have one, you know that right?"
"mom, I'm not discussing this with you so stop..."

and so my mother's trip began...

she arrived Thursday evening and left Sunday evening... during that time I literally threw 3 thanksgiving dinners... every single member of my "Michigan living" family came to my house on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Thats a bunch of people. My mother felt the need to feed them every time they walked in the door so food was flying all over the house for 3 days. I was so stressed out Sunday evening that I smoked a 1/2 pack of cigarettes in about 2 hours!!!

another conversation...

"do you have any green tea?"
"no mom, we don't"
"why not?"
"I don't drink green tea..."
"you should"
"but I don't"
"it's good for your cholesterol"
"I have regular tea"
"is it decaffeinated?"
"nope, just regular Lipton tea..."
"how come?"
"how come what?"
"it's not decaffeinated? you shouldn't drink caffein"
"I like it that way..."
"you shouldn't"
"but I do"
"but you shouldn't"
"mom, can you stop now?"
"but listen... you know why you should drink green tea?"
"you already told me mom... cholesterol..."
"what is your cholesterol?"
"mom, I'm not having this conversation with you..."
"why not? I want to know what your cholesterol is..."
"no... stop please..."
"but if you don't know your cholesterol level, you could have a heart attack..."
"mom, I know my cholesterol level, i'm just not telling you!"
"why not? I'm your mother..."
"because it's none of your business... wait... look, I found some green tea, do you want some?"
"is it decaffeinated?"

oh wait... one last conversation...

"Linda... that roast has only been cooking for 4 hours... it's gonna be RAW"
"mom, it's done... I know what I'm doing... I've cooked once or twice before..."
"but it's only been 4 hours..."
"mom, it was in a cooking bag, I cut it in 4 pieces to speed up the cooking, it's fine, it's done..."
"BUT IT'S PORK!!!"
"mom... eat it or don't eat it, I don't care, it's done and I'm not cooking it any longer..."
"well... I'll take the end pieces, they look done..."
"mom, the end pieces just have the rub on them, that's why they look browner"
"well I don't want to get sick... you know you can get that poisoning from undercooked pork..."
"trichinosis? mom, it's cooked... you aren't getting trichinosis..."
"well... I"m cooking mine more..."
she then proceeds to cut off a huge hunk of pork roast and put it in a skillet and FRY IT to a CRISP...

I have many, many, many more stories... but alas, I'll save it for my novel.

dear lord save me now... or... something like that

2005-11-17T15:37:00.000-08:00

It's finally here... (think of chicken little)

my mommy is here, my mommy is here, my mommy is here!!!

First off, my mom and I don't get along (well, she likes me, I don't like her) she was a mean, cold, abusive mother who did some truly awful things to my brothers and I and I've needed countless surgeries to remove the thoughts from my brain (metaphorically of course)

So... mom is paying me a visit from Bama. I haven't seen her since I visited her last summer (2004) and, to be honest, I've enjoyed the break from her. So to follow is so incredibly typical of my mother...

I told her... "mom, I have school on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturdays til 2pm... I can come and get you (she is driving up with my uncle and going to his daughters house and I have to get her from there...) so as long as its Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday afternoon or all day Sunday... I can come and get you..."

So... she calls to tell me that she is coming on THURSDAY... I can pick her up after I get off of work... ummm... I HAVE SCHOOL THURSDAY... "oh, I thought you said thursday was good for you... oh... dear... what will I do now?"

I suggest she has my uncle drop her off at my house on his way to his daughters... I'm literally less than 5 minutes off of the freeway he is taking to go to his destination... I would leave the door unlocked... she could make herself at home until I get there...

"oh... no, I couldn't ask him to do that... he will be tired..."

"mom, it's 5 minutes..."

"no... I'm not going to ask him... I'll just find SOMEONE ELSE TO COME AND GET ME"

"ummm... who? Joey works afternoons... Ken doesn't have a license... my kids are working IN LANSING... who???"

"oh... don't bother with me... I'll figure out something... I'll just get a hotel room or something and I'll just take a cab to the hotel..."

she's so dramatic...

so I'm missing a very important speech tonight (it's worth 25% of my grade) so I can go and get the woman... luckily my teacher understood...

did I mention where I have to go? OHHHH... YEAH... my cousin's house is 65 miles away from me... so, when I get off work, I have to drive - in rush hour - 65 miles to pick up my mother (who I don't even like) when she could have simply asked him to drive 5 miles off the freeway and drop her off... but... that would have been way to easy, way to convenient for ME... oh and did I mention that she is only staying 2 days (which is a blessing - I'm not complaining mind you) but I have to TAKE HER BACK to my cousin's house on Saturday night because SHE DOESN'T WANT TO ASK HER BROTHER TO PICK HER UP FROM MY HOUSE ON SUNDAY MORNING!!!

oh... and... she already has Friday and Saturday planned... she called my brothers and invited them to my house for dinner Friday and lunch on Saturday... she called my daughter and is taking them shopping Saturday morning... and wants to go Christmas shopping with ME (as if) and wants me to drive her to a couple of her friends house... (I said she could have the car for her travels - "oh, nevermind, I'll just sit in the house I guess...") BULLSHIT!!! she'll have me driving my fool head off all over 'tarnation....

Oh and get this... I informed her yesterday that I had no electricity and my basement flooded and I had to finish the roof on Saturday/Sunday... told her I might not be exactly "available" to do lots of running... and... who knows... I might not even have electricity to have people over...

she said... "oh, you'll have electricity by then... if you don't then we'll just get carryout for everyone..." "mom, it will be FRICKIN' COLD IN THE HOUSE..." she said... and this is prescious... "can't we just build a fire?"

oh sure... if I had A FRIGGIN' FIREPLACE!!!

Come on SUNDAY!!!

too funny not to post

2005-11-14T13:55:00.000-08:00

Okay... so on his way to work this morning Jeremy (my daughter's boyfriend) got pulled over by the cops... several of them actually... I should point out that they he only lives with my daughter on the weekends, 'cuz he works about 60 miles away so he stays with his grandma during the week... so... he's heading up to work and sees sirens behind him... he pulls over to find 2 marked police cars, 1 unmarked monte carlo...

from the police car he hears (over the speaker) "step out of the car... keep your back to me and slowly back up to the rear of your vehicle..." Jeremy obliges... he's been through this before.

"put your hands on your head" again, he obliges
"get on your knees" he tries to explain over the noise of traffic and with his back to the officer that he has a bad knee and needs his hands to help him kneel... it's not getting communicated properly... the speaking officer is getting louder and Jeremy obliges but falls over as he is doing it... so he just stays laying there on the ground...
the officers approach him... Jeremy didn't see any drawn weapons but suspects theres one somewhere... he's been there before right...
"do you know why I pulled you over?"
"I'm sure you have a very good reason officer"
"don't get smart with me..."
"no sir, I'm agreeing with you..."
"our undercover officer has been following you from Pontiac (10 miles) and said that you were acting 'suspiscious'"
"yes sir, I'm sure he did..."
"are you getting smart with me?"
"no sir, I'm agreeing..."
The officer tells Jeremy to get up and quickly frisks him, checking pockets, etc... asks him for his license and registration... he produces his wallet with ID but tells him that his registration is in the glove box... the officer tells him to get it... Jeremy says... "hell no, if I move ya'll will shoot me 'cuz you think I'm reaching for something or something..." like I said, he's been there before...
The officer chuckles... I think their figuring out that they are in no danger from jeremy but not enough to put the TAZER away... yeah... that's right... when Jeremy stood up one of the officers (there were 5) held a tazer on him.
"what are you doing down here son?"
"visiting my girlfriend"
"where are you going"
"to work"
"where do you work?"
"Francis Ray Home for Boys"
"No shit... what do you do there?"
"I'm a counselor for teenagers with social problems..."
"no shit... where'd you go to school?"
"Saginaw Valley..."
"no shit... me too... what year?"
"2004"
"no shit... I'm 2003... did you play football? you look like a football player..."
"yeah... and... no offense but I'm gonna be late for work so if you guys are writing me a ticket could you get to it?"

apparently this pissed off the undercover cop - mind you, they were searching his vehicle while he was talking with the other cop...

undercover cop says..."you were doing 100mph from Pontiac...I had to go 110 to catch up to you..."
"dude... this piece of crap won't even hit 100..."
"you calling me a liar?"
"no sir, I'm sure you're right... can I just get my ticket and go?"
good cop says... "actually sir, you were stopped for suspiscious behavior, we had reason to believe that you were transporting drugs and... uh... well... uh... that's why we stopped you..."
Jeremy says... "you stopped me 'cuz I was black... it's cool... happens all the time..."
they all jumped in with how that was NOT the case (they were all white)
"no, hey, it's cool... but really dude, I need to get to work or there will be 15 rowdy teenagers standing out in the cold waiting for me to get there..."
the cops start laughing... Jeremy chuckles nervously, he really doesn't find it funny but he needs to pretend to so he can move on...
good cop says... "Jeremy... yeah, yeah, I remember you... you played defensive tackle... I was offense... not very good... didn't play much... remember?"
"oh, yeah... right... look, I'm having a blast here and all but I really need to get to work..."
"oh... right... yeah, look, we're just gonna let you off this time with a warning..."
then he has to get smart... "what? are you warning me not to be black?" they all laugh (even though it's not very funny)

here's the REAL funny part...

he left the keys in the ignition... the cop actually hit the DOOR LOCK button and then when the doors closed they were LOCKED!!! oops!!!

the cops had to get out their little lock thingy and try to open the door... they can't get it to pop...

Jeremy says... "here, let me..." and in about 1 second he has the lock popped and the door open... the cop says... "looks like you've done that before..." all Jeremy could think was OH BOY HERE WE GO AGAIN!!!

it's funnier when he tells it... :)

sidestep from me... although, it's still about me...

2005-11-14T07:21:00.000-08:00

Okay, so this weekend we were supposed to repair the roof on the shed and re-roof it (it was leaking badly)

So Saturday I have school... I'm home by 1pm and I went to get all the materials (plywood, shingles, tar paper, etc...) and Jeremy, my daughter's boyfriend, was supposed to be there at 2:00 to meet me and get started with the tear off... he didn't show up...

at 4:00 I called him, he was at their apartment and Alanna had been hungry so he took her to Taco Bell and then for icecream...

ummm... weren't you supposed to be here???

Anyway... he said he'd be over bright and early Sunday morning "8:00 am" he says... I told him I'd have breakfast ready... so... at 9:30am when he still wasn't there, I called... he was just waking up. He and my daughter got to the house at about 10:30, ate breakfast and then we got started... around 11:30. I meantion thise because Jeremy was CONVINCED it would take 5 or 6 hours... total... I told him there was more work than he though... he was SOOOO SURE...

So... after working a good 7 hours, into the dark and agains 40 mph winds... we managed to remove one side of the roof (we had to remove all the wood as it was rotted - and replace 3 of the joists) we put new plywood up and tar paper on the one side... and patched a small section of the other side...

but... we still have the other side to remove the shingles and then we have to re-shingle the whole shed AND put up new trim that was rotted out and needed to be replaced...

all that AND we're supposed to get SNOW this coming weekend... not to mention, MY MOTHER is coming to visit this weekend!!!

UGH!!! I'm so incredibly sore and tired and achy!!!

yep... more about me...

2005-11-11T03:20:00.000-08:00

My favorite food is chicken (if it's smothered in an alfredo type sauce that's even better)

My favorite alcoholic drink is vodka/cranberry (hey, I'm cleaning out the bladder while getting drunk) or any type of pucker

My favorite beer is Budweiser (not lite though, that's for wussies)

I smoke on ocassion... probably about a pack every 2-3 weeks or so... I'm just not addicted but I do find it nice to have one at times of stress

I listen to a variety of music... I am a long time James Taylor fan, love (and I mean love) Kid Rock... saw eminem with 50 cent at Ford Field and fell in love with 50 cent... no.. seriously... I tried very hard to stalk him for like... 11 days... I thought I was going to die from orgasmic delight when he pretended to masturbate with his microphone... I was like... "Screw security, I'm 'bout to have my way with that man!!! I also like classical music and even those cheesy cd's that sound like rain... (great for falling asleep to) I like angry rock like Disturbed (yeah, I'm weird) but I also have a collection of Judy Garland cd's and... Johnny Cash, Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin and, if I could sing, I'd want a voice like Sarah Macglauhin... so... to say the least, I am not bound by one sound. Oh... and my hubbster the cubster is in love with Jimmy Buffett, thus I listen to a lot of him too...

I volunteer at a private nursing home as much as I can... sometimes I'll just stop in to say "hi" a few times a week.

I live in heaven's ghetto, the second largest city in Michigan but I do have a half acre of property... with lots and lots and lots of trees (I bring this up because they have just recently deposited lots and lots and lots of leaves!!!)

I have a 4.0gpa in my college classes and I work very, very hard for that!!!

I also work 45 hours per week (in addition to going to school 12 hours a week and 12 hours of homework)

I love AND I MEAN LOVE count chocula cereal.. but I rarely eat it due to diabetes... I also love chocolate poptarts and... ditto

when I was little I almost died and my brother saved my life. I fell, head first, into the sump pump hole in our basement, it had about 2 feet of water in it and I was submerged up to my waist... my brother found me and saved me.

I saw someone murdered once...

I also dated someone that was murdered (not the same person)

believe it or not... more about me

2005-11-10T03:15:00.000-08:00

since I really don't want to go into anything about my ex-husband... I'll tell you about my current live-in love-slave husband-in-training...

Richard and I met by a fluke. Had any of the following events not happened we probably would have never met although I like to think that somehow we would have (it would have been sad not to have)

about 5 years ago, curiosity got the best of me and I signed up for classmates.com. to be honest, I was looking for a particular person, a girl I had gone to school with and was best friends with in highschool... she and I have lost touch. Anyway... someone else responded to my query with a possible email address for her. this someone was another girl I had gone to highschool with but she graduated a year before me. Anyway... the email address was a no go but the other girl (Kimmie) and I struck up an email friendship that went on for a while. She had moved to Illinois and after a few months, invited me to come and visit. I had recently stopped seeing a guy that I had dated (on and off) for a few years and had also recently met this other guy... anyway... that's getting too complicated... lol

I went to Illinois to visit and we had a blast. We went clubbing on Thursday and Friday nights... she's hot... no really... she's very hot and gets tons of attention so I got some peripheral attention because of it... it was fun. So... on Saturday night, she was planning on going to a anniversary party for some friends and brought me along. Well... at this party was Richard. Richard was visiting a friend who too was invited to this party and who too invited Richard to tag along. We sat at adjacent tables and he was being funny so I talked to him... we hit it off right away... I laughed so hard, we acted silly, goofed around and all in all had a fun evening. He asked me for my number and I told him I lived in Detroit... he laughed... he lived in Cincinnati but visited Illinois a few times a year (he used to live there). we exchanged numbers anyway and ended up talking every day for the next few weeks... and then it was baseball season.

Rick asked me if he could come visit and we could go to a baseball game. At this point we were just planning on being friends (living 300 miles apart makes for a difficult relationship) and he said I'd be fun to go to a game with... I said sure and invited him up. he reserved a hotel room... I laughed... I lived in a house with 3 bedrooms and no kids (all in college) so I told him to sleep in the bunkbeds :)

Anyway... the rest... as they say... is history. he came up, we never made it to the game because we just sat and talked and talked and talked for hours... finally we went to dinner because we were starving and slept together that night... but... no sex!!! the next morning we went to breakfast and I knew I was in trouble because I didn't want him to leave!!!

Oh... and the guy I was seeing... here's the weird thing.

the day before Richard came up for the game I went to see a psychic (not just ANY psychic - THE psychic) anyway... he's telling me all about this "new guy you are seeing" (of course I'm thinking it's the other new guy that I was actually dating)and I was like... ummmm no... he's nothing like what you are describing at all... stuff like... "he loves the water, loves the ocean (no he doesn't) he has short hair (nope) he is struggling with a past relationship (nope, wrong again) he doesn't have any children (yep... has 2) he works with steel (uh... no, he's a garbage man - okay, maybe the cans are steel) he drives a truck (nope, car) he has a heart condition (ummm.. no he's 35) etc... so I'm thinking... man, Kevin the psychic is having a brain fart or something... he's so off... Kevin said... "well, maybe the guy you are currently seeing isn't the guy I'M SEEING in the cards... maybe it's someone else..." and I was like... oh okay... sure... whatever you say (wink wink)

well... let me tell you that absolutely every single thing the psychic told me about the "new man in your life" describes Richard to a T... except the steel thing at first... but then once he moved up to Michigan he got a new job... YEP in the steel industry!!!

wow...that's a long story and that's the SHORT version!!! lol

believe it or not... more about me

2005-11-08T15:15:00.000-08:00

I am a diabetic... non-insulin dependant... diet controlled (yeah right!) and I crave recees peanut butter cups :) (did I mention CRAVE???)

I love popcorn with shreded chedder cheese (not the fake cheesy powder crap... the real thing) but I don't eat it often as I can't eat that much carbs and I'm trying to maintain my svelt figure and awesome kegger... ummm... i mean 6 pack :)

I have never broken a bone although I did tear my achilles tendon once falling down a mountain in Tennessee (no... really) I have limited hearing in my right ear from a bad infection when I was a teenager. I am far-sighted and wear reading glasses (well... "wear" is a relative term). Oh wait... yeah... I broke my nose when I was in 9th grade... forgot about that one... hmmm should I tell the broken nose story? it's quite emotional so maybe another time.

I graduated highschool with a 3.85gpa... which only goes to show that the state of the public school system sucks. I missed 42 days in 10th grade just 'cuz I didn't want to go to school... apparently no one noticed I wasn't there. I talked my way out of algebra by telling my advisor that I had already taken it and there must be a mistake... he believed me and I graduated without the credit.

I had sex for the first time when I was 13... another emotional story I'll share with you later. My first enjoyable sexual experience was when I was 15 and that's when I like to think I lost my virginity (even though it's not)

I got caught having sex in the park in my hometown by the cops... I talked them out of taking me home to tell my parents THANK GOD!!! how embarassing that would have been (yeah... okay... getting caught was pretty darned embarassing too)

I have never been baptised. That used to bother me until religion got all wiggy and I'd hear all these people talk about how they were "saved" and "going to heaven" right after they got done with a hooker and a line of cocain... I figure, I'm no worse off than they are if nothing else. I also like telling people that I'm not saved and hear them gasp with "oh my GOD you won't go to heaven!!!" I know, I get pleasure from odd things

My favorite place on earth (so far) is Guntersville Alabama where my mama lives... it's perfect and beautiful and calm and peaceful and slow and... well... I feel like I'm at "home" there, even though I've never lived there.

I've had dogs as pets my whole life. I'm not a big cat fan unless they are the affectionate type.

speaking of animals... I LOVE going to the zoo... the polar bear exhibit is awesome and I love the prarie dogs and their little quirky movements.

I love flowers but I tend to forget to water them. I have a garden every year where I grow my own vegetables... I sometimes forget to water them too... oops!!! I know how to can vegetables and jellies... I can sew and I'm also quite the little handywoman...

example... I've repaired my own washing machine... my own stove (replaced the heating unit) installed a new gas dryer (scary) Helped roof my house, built a wooden fence and gate (from scratch)... stuff like that.

my husband in training isn't very handy... but I teach him :) he's a great helper and actually doesn't mind getting "instruction" from the little woman... he's cool

my daddy taught me how to change my own oil and change a tire... I also, single handedly, swapped out a water pump on a 1974 Ford LTD (okay, so he told me what to do) but I was the one who did the actually work!!!

I also draw... pencil mostly, charcoal too... sometimes colored pencils if I'm doing something for a kid. I have attempted watercolors but I'm not very good at it... I don't like acrylics at all but maybe because I've never really figured out how to use them. I've made severaly christmas presents out of my drawings when I was really poor :) my favorite subjects are lighthouses and landscapes. I'm also addicted to doodling but when I doodle it's almost always geometric shapes. I like semetry but hate squares... does that make sense? I just like all sides to look the same... oh... nevermind!!!

okay... enough horn tooting... I'm starting to make myself blush :)

round 3 - more about me

2005-11-03T15:27:00.000-08:00

My kids...

My oldest daughter is named Alanna Maria. She is currently 24 years old and after graduating from college with a Bachelor's Degree in Behavioral Science (and a minor in Spanish) she is now at Wayne State in her last semester of her Master's degree in Behavioral Psychology and Criminal Justice. She's thinking of going on to get a law degree if she's up for it. She is quite bright and articulate. She's also stunningly beautiful (no, really, she is) she is stopped all the time by men in grocery stores, malls, gas stations, on the street... just so they can tell her how beautiful she is (personally, I'd find it annoying so thank goodness I'm not so gorgeous... lol) she has taken advantage of her good looks many times... the oddest thing she got from flirting was a brand new tire from the tow truck driver... he actually put the spare on and told her to follow him back to the tire shop where he gave her a brand new tire... and... his phone number. Oh and then there's the time she got a new mattress/box spring set for $250.00 (it was a $700.00 set) as long as she agreed to take the guys number... she did... never called him though. she finds it funny that guys tend to throw stuff at her. she's in a very secure relationship with her boyfriend of 5 years and luckily hes also secure in their relationship and knows that it's never her initiation... heck, he's even been with her when guys have hit on her, bought her drinks, roses, etc... he thinks it's cool to get free stuff... lol. Anyway... she's tall (about 5'10") thin, dirty blonde hair, blue eyes and, like I said, one of those strikingly beautiful people you see in person (better than in pictures) luckily... one day she'll be old and wrinkly and I can make fun of her!!! hehehe. She's the typical first born leader kinda kid. She's traveled to Mexico for a semester all by herself... very gutsy (I would have never done it at her age). she currently works for an agency interviewing children victims of abuse for the prosecuting attorney. She wants to focus on being a victim's advocate. All in all, she's a great kid.

My second (middle) child is Andrea Francis, she hates her name... lol... Andrea is an extremely intelligent person. One of those people that just can't get enough information. She loves to read and loves to debate and discuss issues. Always has. she recently graduated from MSU with a degree in History, which is perfect for her, she loves information and knowing "stuff". She is also beautiful in that "girl next door" sorta way. She is my "dark" child... meaning she is a deep brunette with dark brown eyes and olive skin. She's the shortest of us girls at 5'5" but she is thin with an athletic build. She is quite the little cook, bakes homemade bread, makes a great chicken spaghetti... loves to cook. She is going back to school in January to get a degree in nursing. She currently works at a private nursing home caring for about 15 women. She lives with her boyfriend of 3 years in Lansing and they hope to, one day, move to Florida... which is cool with me 'cuz that's where I want to live too!!! She is also a great kid.

My baby is Kristian Angel, and she is just as her name says... and angel. Kristian is probably one of the most caring, compassionate people I've ever met. She feels deeply for people who are suffering or hurting and volunteers more time than Mother Teresa!!! lol... Kristian looks a lot like her sister Alanna, just bigger. She's got Alanna beat by about 30-40 pounds, but, when she's thinner... people ask them if they are twins (even though they are 4 years apart) she is also quite tall at 5'10" and, can't leave this out because it's her most obvious feature, she has huge breasts!!! she hates them... they get in the way... but... not surprisingly... the boys seem to adore them... lmao!!! she is a current student at MSU working on her 3rd major (so far) of Human Ecology... which, apparently, is the study of humans in their environment (or something like that) personally, I thinkg she's working towards becoming a professional student!!! Kristian is more of an average student, preferring to be "hands on" rather than "book smart"... works for me if it works for her. She currently works for the Okemos (Lansing) school district as the Assistant Director of Day Care/Latch Key. She loves it and loves working with kids... even those who say they are going to have their older brother come back and beat her up... lol...

none of my kids plan on having children, so it's entirely possible I may remain grandchild-less forever, which would suit my husband in training perfectly as he never had kids and, frankly, doesn't want any.

more later...

more stuff about me

2005-11-01T10:00:00.000-08:00

more stuff about me...

I am a natural red head and very white. My ancestory is as follows:

My daddy was Irish and German (a Nazi-Mic) and apparently his grandmother was some type of Indian but I have no idea what. My mommy is English, French and Dutch. Apparently her relatives were British Land Surveyors and apparently that was a very prestigeous job. You wouldn't know it though, both of my parents were dirt poor.

My dad was born in Arab, Alabama (yes, Arab... apparently it was supposed to be Arak but someone spelled it wrong years ago) He (and, thus, I) is related to the Bowden's, as in the ones that coach for Florida State and Clemson football(and, as a coincidence, my husband to be graduated from Clemson after playing football) I recently saw a documentary on ESPN on the Bowden's and it mentions his mother was a "Cleckler", my dad's mom was a Cleckler... I haven't researched it all but I will someday. oh... and another coincidence, near my house there is a new subdivision, two of the streets are "Clemson Ave" and "Bowden Drive". small world.

My mom was born in Decatur, Alabama - or the "valley" as it is called (my mom was from the valley, my dad was from the mountain) her mom died when she was only 9 leaving her to be raised by her father and grandfather. My mom married my dad when she was only 16 and he was off to the Navy for 2 years. I don't know how she made it during those times... the stories of poverty are awful.

My oldest brother, Robert Van, was born in Boaz, Alabama and later moved back to about 5 miles from where he was born. He is 11 years older than me and a really great guy. He took very good care of me when I was little. My dad always thought he was way too soft for a guy, even made fun of him for carrying an umbrella. but he is just a very compasionate, caring person. He married and divorced and has one daughter that he raised alone.

My second brother, Kenneth Max, was born in Boaz, Alabama and lives about 30 minutes from me although I haven't seen him in about 3 years. We talk about twice a year. He is a recovering alcoholic (as are many of my relatives) and did some pretty crappy stuff to my parents a while back that I have a hard time reconciling. I'm glad he is no longer drinking but we don't have a lot in common. He is extremely intelligent and eternally curious but permenantly disabled due to his alcoholism. sad really. he was married twice, had two kids with wife #1 whom I still refer to my sister-in-law 15 years later (as I was only 11 when they married - she was 15 - she was the only sister I ever knew) his second wife was a psycho and luckily he got out of that one rather quickly.

My third brother, Benny Carl, was also born in Boaz, Alabama and died when I was 18. He was a drug addict and a homosexual. Once he kicked the habit and found a man he was happy with, he moved to California only to get in a car accident and die. The story is much much longer than that but that's the short version and we'll leave it there for now. Benny was my favorite brother and my most disturbed. I miss him dearly and hate that he never got to meet my kids. Sometimes I think he's hanging around though, guiding me through life. I hope that's true.

My fourth brother, Joseph Ray, was born in Detroit, like me. He is only 3 years older than me and he and I were best friends when we were little. We played together all the time. He is the reason I was so tough growing up and a tomboy rather than prissy. Him and my daddy letting me work on cars of course. Joey is a racist biggot but I love him anyway and actually there are times I find his racism humorous as he can't really explain why he feels the way he feels. Other times it's irritating as hell as my oldest daughter's boyfriend is half black and Joey has a real hard time with it... oh well... he'll live (if he's lucky) he was married and divorced... twice. His first wife he met while in the military, he wanted to settle down, she made it a career... they divorced. His second wife cheated on him with some guy named Dwayne. He has two daughters with the hussy and they are actually quite stunningly beautiful and extremely well behaved.

Then there's me... more about me later

Things you should know about me

2005-10-31T11:03:00.000-08:00

I am taking a cue from and giving all of you a look into my life.... here are a few things about me you may find interresting (or not) either way... read on... or... move on :)

I am a young 43 :) I am often told I look mid-30's max and I'm not saying that to brag, actually, I die my hair to mask the gray (I'd be totally grey) but because I am so fair skinned, I've never tanned... ever... so I have very few wrinkles. I also rarely act my age although I recently bought a pair of pants that my mother would wear so I'm worried!!!

I have 3 children, all daughters, all adults. They are all fantastic human beings. I have tried hard to allow them to grow up with as much freedom as I could permit and allow them to make their own decisions regarding their lives and they've made excellent choices (in my humble opinion). More about them later.

I live with a wonderful man whom I love dearly. I thought I was in love before with my ex-husband, only to find out that I was more obsessed than in love. I am a very controlling person and I needed to control the situation, meaning... he had to love me or else!!! no... but really. Richard, my current love slave, is a wonderful person who is extremely communicative. We have a lot in common and enjoy doing almost anything together (even chores). More about him later too.

I was born in Detroit, Michigan across from Belle Isle (if anyone is familiar - they know the area) at Deaconess Hospital, which is now gone. I have 4 older brothers, one of which died when I was 18. At the age of 2 we moved to Hazel Park (affectionately known as Hazel Tuckey because of the significant hillbilly population) and I lived in Hazel Park until I married at 18.

I married at 18 to my highschool sweetheart. Big mistake, although, he helped to produce my daughters whom I would give nothing for so in that sense, it was worth it. When I married, I married for life, he was more on the leasing program and decided to trade me in. Actually, I can't thank him enough as I am happier now than I've ever been in my entire life.

My parents never divorced but they hated each other. My mother is still living and we are not close at all. She did some things when I was growing up that were definitely not cool and I've never been able to put them aside to allow our relationship to heal but she is my mother and I show her the respect a mother deserves, I just don't get the warm and fuzzies about her.

My father died 5 years ago. He had been sick for 4 years and during that time he and I became extremely close (we'd always been close as I was his "baby girl" but it grew even closer) I had to help him bathe and made sure he tood the right medicine at the right time, got him to his doctors appointments, stayed with him in the hospital when he wanted to die and, finally, signed the paper that allowed the doctor's to remove him from life support. That was both the hardest and bravest thing I've ever done and I have no regrets.

I didn't cry at my father's funeral because he asked me not to. That was the second hardest and stupidest thing I've ever done... but... he asked and I delivered.

I am not "religious" by definition... meaning I don't consider myself to belong to any particular set of beliefs. I am spiritual, I believe that there are a lot of things out there greater than me and if people need to call that "God" that's cool with me, I just choose not to. My mother is Baptist, my father was Methodist, I was raised in Baptist, Methodist and Church of Christ churches. I married a Catholic, I've dated a Jew, Hindu and Muslim. I found the Hindu religion to be the most interresting and closest to what I believe and feel but even it doesn't cover all of my thoughts and opinions. Actually, watching "The Lion King" cartoon sorta did it for me... the "Circle of Life" is a great explanation of what I think goes on... for the most part anyway.

I have an associates degree in business management. I don't use it. I work in the accounting department of a tool and die shop but the bulk of my work is corporate travel. I am a liscensed travel agent and book anywhere from 5-15 flights a day with hotels and car rentals. It is fun but I'm ready to move on.

I've been in school for 2 years now working towards a nursing degree. Next fall I will have to quit my day job and go to school full time for 18 months to complete my degree. That scares me a lot!!! I will have to rely 80% on my husband-in-trainings support for 18 months and, being a control freak, have never had to rely on anyone for anything since I was 18 years old!!! but he is being extremely supportive of my decision and is ready for the task of caregiver to me :)

Enough for now... I'll talk more later

Lady Sunshine and the X Band

2005-10-31T09:38:00.000-08:00

Went to Memphis Smoke this past weekend (not my favorite place to eat, so we ate at Ruby Tuesday's first for their EXCELLENT salad bar!!)

we went to see Lady Sunshine and the X Band... awesome... AWESOME... blues singer, band, etc...

We first saw her last year at the Antifreeze Blues festival... out walked this 300lb. black woman in a skin tight red leather dress witht this wilin' out blonde wig and I thought... "honey, that dress does nothing for you..." but after her first song ("My man only wants me for my sex...") I was like... "oh yeah... that dress is perfect for you!!!" she has an awesome voice, quality that matches the best vocal tracks that soundmen spend weeks tweeking to get just right... and she gets it right the first time.

Saturday she performed a lot of her original songs from her album "Man Trouble" and some old standard favorites and she was, not surprisingly, awesome.

Man-love-slave and I had a great time (even though the wooden stools got a little hard to sit on after 3 hours)

great music, great drinks, great atmosphere and, of course, great company :)

Pharmacology

2005-10-26T11:33:00.000-07:00

Have I mentioned yet that I HATE MY PHARMACOLOGY CLASS???

How in the HELL am I supposed to memorize hundreds and hundreds of drugs along with their side effects, contraindicataions and interactions???

I'm sure my pharmacist looks it up in a friggin' book when he needs to fill a prescription... not to mention it's on his FRIGGIN' computer... who in the HELL memorizes all this crap???

phew... there, I'm done complaining... back to my cepholosporins...

a religious post...

2005-10-20T10:16:00.000-07:00

someone else's blog (sorry, don't know how to link) made me think about religion and I decided to post a few of my thoughts on it... so... if you are a bible-thumping holier than though type... look away 'cuz I really won't be swayed by your opinions... if you are just curious on my thoughts... feel free to read.

A) Mary was impregnated by God right? okay people... think about this scientifically, think about how babies are made... sperm meets egg... so you really believe that God put his sperm in Mary? with what? Truth is, a woman, such as Mary, who became pregnant without the benefit of marriage or, even worse, while married to someone else was usually stoned to death... isn't it just possible that she created that story to appease Joseph and/or the community?

B) Jesus was a guy... by all accounts, a pretty nice one. I mean, he was charitable and all, a great motivational speaker, obviously attractive (lets face it, if he looked like an ogre noone would have followed him) and believe the propaganda that his parents raised him with (that he was the son of God). Then there's that whole "risen from the dead" issue... ummm... doesn't happen, science has proven that. It would have been better if they presented it as a metaphor rather than fact... less people would question it.

Which, by the way, brings us to...

C) God. Who, exactly, is God? So... the earth is just rolling around in the milky way and thig God thing was where? on Jupiter? floating on clouds with cream cheese? where exactly was God and where did HE come from? If he created mankind in his image, why don't we all look the same? And... for that matter... when did God become a "man"? if God is a spiritual being with all encompassing power, when, exactly, did he become a man-form?

D) Catholoicism... why do Catholics believe that only Priest can understand the bible? do they think everyone else is illiterate? Why is the bible not interpreted literally except when they get to the blood and body stuff?

E) Holy Rollers... what in the HECK are they babbling about when they are rolling on the floor speaking in tongues? and what is speaking in tongues? we only have one tongue anyway... besides that though, there is a phenomenon called "religious hysteria" that is a scientific substantiated fact that explains the whole "tongues" thing.

F) Jewish... you killed your own guy dudes... what's up with that? Jewish people perplex me the most actually... too much to go into at this point.

G) the "rest"... including Muslim, Hindu, etc... don't most of them revolve around sorta kinda the same thing as all the rest? they have Muhammed, we have Jesus... they have "confuscious says..." we have "psalms"... etc...

frankly, religion... in my humble opinion... is a very large perpetuation of a great story and the variations of the story. Similar to the variations in the whole Santa Claus story depending on what country you are from. Now that we are highly mobile communities we are exposed to other's beliefs on a regular basis... if you were to put the main points in a spread sheet they would match up with minor changes, mostly dates, names and outcomes... but basically saying the same thing.

While we (you know who "we" are) tend to look at many religions different from our own and criticize things such as... how archaic they are, how they treat women, how they punish "sinners", etc... keep in mind that Catholicism, Christianity, Lutheran, Presbyterian, etc... they've all had their faults - and still do in many ways - in all of those categories... just look at the Priest scandle!!! There is a conservative pole out there that says 37% of all priests are homosexual and chose the priesthood to try and "overcome" their "perversion" (their word, not mine) it's estimated that over 10% of all priests have committed some act of mollestation... 40% have regular sexual relations with women and an undocumented amount have sexual relations with other priests... now... I know that many Muslims believe that stoning a woman for adultry is right and we American's think it's barbaric... but... is it better to promote an atmosphere in which children are mollested, overlook allegations, coverup allegations, reassign those who have been proven to be offenders allowing them to stick their penises into the anus' and mouths of other little 5 year old children (come one people... don't be shocked, that is what they are doing).

A far as me... personally... I am not religious. I don't follow any particular belief other than I make an attempt each and every day to be a nice person, treat other people well, smile and try to make a difference in my life, my husband's life, my children's life and, if I have time left over, other people's lives. and it's not because I think that will get me seated to the right hand of God... just because it makes me feel better about myself. Period.

The Debate Is On

2005-10-18T02:50:00.000-07:00

Last night I watched round one of Detroit's mayoral race Q&A fiascos...

what a retarded mayor detroit has... and yes I do appologize to all retarted people for putting them in the same boiling pot as KWAME (yes... his name is KWAME - pronounced KWAM-IE)

he is being investigated for all sorts of criminal activities, has virtually stolen money from the city and possibly is linked to the murder of a stripper. (allegedly... I have no proof... don't sue me for slander)as well as any number of minor infractions, such as hiring every member of his family he could find and every friend he could get out of jail...

and yet it's a good possibility he will be reelected... sad.

reminds me of a comedian who said about Marion Barry (Mayor of Washington DC who went to prison for drug possession and soliciting a prostitute) Marion Barry was re-elected after he was released from prison, even though he was caught having drugs being smuggled into the prison and had a hooker come in and give him a BJ... the comedian said... "How in the WORLD did he get re-elected... who was he running against a HEROIN ADDICT???"

Detroit proves that only the stupid people are breeding.

Space Cowboy

2005-10-13T07:28:00.000-07:00

wow... blast from the past...

I'm sitting here (at work but obviously not working) listening to the radio and what comes on... the song me and my friends used to sing when I was little and I don't think I've heard in 25 + years... brought back a flood of memories of playing roof tag (long story) tossing bottle caps at passing cars, playing spin the bottle and not really minding if it landed on a girl, pajama parties, sleeping in the backyard under the stars, smoking and easy, easy, easy times...

Space Cowboy...

I'm a space cowboy, 'bet you weren't ready for that...
yeah I'm a space cowboy, I'm sure you know where it's at... yeah yeah yeah yeah...
I see the show downs, slow downs, lost and found, turn arounds
The boys in the military shirts
I keep my eyes on the prize, on the long fallen skies
And I don't let my friends get hurt
All you back room schemers, small trip dreamers
Better find something new to say
Cause you're the same old story
It's the same old crime
And you got some heavy dues to pay
'cuz I'm a space cowboy, 'bet you weren't ready for that...
yeah I'm a space cowboy, I'm sure you know where it's at... yeah yeah yeah yeah
Steve Miller... he rocked!!! What a GREAT song!!! This was even before I was introduced to my all time favorite Steve Miller song...

Cause I'm a picker
I'm a grinner
I'm a lover
And I'm a sinner
I play my music in the sun

I'm a joker
I'm a smoker
I'm a midnight toker
I sure don't want to hurt no one

ahhh... memories

Another birthday

2005-10-12T01:47:00.000-07:00

Today is my oldest daughters birthday...

Alanna Maria (tell me that doesn't sound mexican) is 24 years old today. She is a beautiful woman(not just my opinion) intelligent (4.0gpa @ Wayne State working on her masters degree in criminal psychology) strong, beautiful inside and out... and at 7:32am on October 12, 1981, at the ripe old age of 18, I gave birth to this wonderful human being...

Happy birthday to my baby!!!
(left to right: Jeremy (A-lo's boyfriend), Alanna (aka. A-lo - the birthday girl), Andrea (middle child), Tim (Andrea's boyfriend) and Kristian (youngest)

repeat post

2005-10-11T13:25:00.000-07:00

Just because I think this is a funny website, and it's my daughters and she's extremely talented and beautiful and wonderful... okay, I'll stop... but... if you get the chance, check out the stories she wrote on the website...

http://www.msu.edu/~coronad6/

repeat picture

2005-10-11T13:17:00.000-07:00

Just because he's so cute...

I never knew pharmagology was so...

2005-10-11T11:30:00.000-07:00

okay, so growing up in the 70's I was quite familiar with our local "pharmacist"... little did I know that pharmacy is such an involved, scientific, chemically related topic... my brain is about to explode with synergisims and antagonisms and potentiations and metabolisms and distributions and and and and and...

what happened to "take and asprin and call me in the morning"???

For that matter... what happened to chicken soup and an apple a day???

Dear Lord if I have to try and memorize one more thing I swear my brain is going to spring a leak and ooooie gooooie gelatenous fluid is going to ooze out all over my neetly spiked hairdo... hmmm... come to think of it, I could save a lot of money by not buying glue for my hair!!!

I'm a cooking GODDESS

2005-10-10T10:15:00.000-07:00

Okay... so over the weekend we (hubby wannabe) and I went to the cider mill (or as he called it the "who the heck let out the inmates from hell" mill) it was very crowded.

Anyway... we walked the trails for a while. played with some very friendly doggies, particularly fell in love with a 2 year old English Mastiff... then we went inside and bought a bunch of crap we didn't need (cider, donuts, fudge) and sat at the picnic table munching on everything we could fit into our mouths. Then we went and bought apples (this one doesn't have a "pick your own" option) and went home. All in all an beautiful day, sky was blue, air was brisk, trees were just turning, snackies were deliscious... a relaxing day.

So... I came home and after my nappy I started cooking. I made this AWESOME gumbo casserole... and I do mean AWESOME. I happened to see one of those Food Network cooks making it and duplicated it... here's the recipe if anyone wants it...

Saute' in a little olive oil:
1 cup diced onion
2 cloves diced garlic
2 cups diced celery
Add...
1 tbsp cajun spice and a tsp of bay spice
1 cup or so of some type of sausage (I used Brats I had on hand)
Add...
1 large can diced tomatoes (or fresh if you have them, I didn't)
2 cups broth (chicken, vegetable, seafood stock... whatever... I used chicken)
bring to a rolling boil
add...
3 cups okra (frozen is fine)
2 cups shrimp (peeled and deveined cuz thats POOP people!)
return to a boil and allow to simmer to reduce the liquid a bit
(okay, at this point you could literally add anything you like in your gumbo - like corn or whatever)
transfer to an oven proof dish
make a couple boxes of jiffy corn bread mix and spoon mixture over the top of the gumbo
bake for 30 minutes

okay... so while I was in cooking mode I decided to make an apple pie with the apples we bought. I would like to point out that macintosh and johnathon apples are my FAVORITE for pies. so... I use the pillsbury pie crusts, they are in the refrigerated section.. comes complete with an apple pie spice packet... assembled it all, made a cute little design on the top crust (I"m so talented) and let me tell you it was AWESOME!!! (hey, perfection is difficult!!!) :)

so... I impressed the little man (okay, he's 6'4" tall, 230 pounds.. he's not little) but I did impress him big time. of course he would have preferred the gumbo to be spicier but he's into that, I'm not. and, of course, the pie went over big time. It's not that he's never seen me cook it's just that I don't get to very much anymore with work and school and stuff. He does most of the cooking, my contributions is usually limited to once a week with a chicken spaghetti or chicken enchilada's that will last for 2 days with lunch leftovers. He bbq's every Sunday, we eat out the rest of the time or sometimes I just do soup or mac and cheese.

Anyway... mr. happy man gave me an hour long back rub (while watching the Astro's play 3 games in one) as a "thank you". awe... isn't he sweet?

so yes... I am a goddess...

Novel Writing Time

2005-10-07T15:10:00.000-07:00

I have (again) joined the November "write your novel" club... last year I failed to complete my task... I'm trying again this year. When I'm done I'll let everyone read it!!!

Evolution? I think NOT!!!

2005-10-06T13:47:00.000-07:00

my presents :)

2005-10-05T07:10:00.000-07:00

Okay... ya'll are gonna thing this is an odd b-day present for a "girl" but...

I got my very own Rod and Reel (fishing pole). Now... before you laugh... I love fising yet hadn't fished in several years. My hubby-wannabe also loves fishing but hadn't fished in several years. Two weekend's ago we went to Indiana to visit his sister and both of us fished... we had SOOO much fun (it's a stocked pond so you're guarnteeded to catch something) but he and I stayed out for HOURS and it was so relaxing and calm and enjoyable... the only thing was that I had to use one of his spare poles with an open face reel (I'd never used an open faced reel before) so... for my birthday mr. wonderful bought me my very own.

He also took me to dinner. I chose Red Lobster because I'd been craving their cheezy biscuits :) he wanted to take me somewhere fancier (more expensive) but it was MY birthday and that's where I wanted to go!!! :)

he also cleaned the house for me and gave me a wonderful back massage...

sometimes he almost makes it worth while to keep him :) (sometimes)

Happy Birthday to MEEEEEEEEE

2005-09-30T15:45:00.000-07:00

uh huh... that's right... it's my BIRTHDAY...

okay, well today is not my real birthday... it is my birthday eve and tomorrow OCTOBER 1ST is my REAL birthday (but I won't be on line - I'm 'bout to be busy and... hopefully... GET busy!!!) WOOHOO!!!

happy birthday to me... happy birthday to me...

I fully expect to see naked dancin' people in my email come monday morning... I DESERVE IT DAMMIT!!!

School started.. oh yeah!!!

2005-09-29T02:33:00.000-07:00

okay... so... actually I like school, I like learning new things and stuff like that. Tuesday I started my Pharmacology class... I'm thinking 'okay, so I learn about antibiotics and crap right?' ummm... wrong. First off, she has assigned 5 chapters per week with a quiz every week (including our first class to see how much we remembered from her lecture) we have 150 abbreviation terms to learn by next Tuesday for our next quiz (quizzes are 50 questions each, 25 multiple choice, 25 short answer) and they will something like...

Decipher the following: Tylenol OTC qd q3h pc per os
Meaning: Acetamonaphin, over the counter, every day, every three hours, after meals, per mouth (or something like that)

it's not that it's too hard, it's just a lot of stuff to memorize and seeing that I'm not currently in the medical profession, it's not something I use on a daily basis...

now... my class tonight is Oral Communication for the Business Professional... now... oral I know about :) hehehe... okay... I meant TALKING perverts!!! :) I just hate standing in front of a group of people and talk about stuff that I have no idea about!!! oh well... I'll let you know how the first class goes. Funny thing is, the class is off-sight from the college campus and guess where it is held... at my old high school... I graduated 25 years ago (this year) and haven't stepped foot back there in 25 years... that should be a blast from the past.

My Saturday class hasn't met yet... it's advanced medical terminology, I got an A in general medical terminology so I'm hopeful :)

why did I want to do this again????

My Pirate Name

2005-09-27T11:20:00.000-07:00

Someone sent me this silly little pirate thing... I will point out that my name is not Jenny but other than that it's pretty accurate :)

My pirate name is:

Dirty Jenny Cash

You're the pirate everyone else wants to throw in the ocean -- not to get rid of you, you understand; just to get rid of the smell. You're musical, and you've got a certain style if not flair. You'll do just fine. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from fidius.org.

Deep Corneal Abrasion

2005-09-26T13:37:00.000-07:00

Yep... the week I start back to school I have a deep corneal abrasion... in other words I scratched my eye!!!

so here I go back to school with an eye full of salve and a patch...

aye aye me matie!!!

did I mention it's been 13 years?

2005-09-22T07:54:00.000-07:00

yes.. it will be 13 years in November since I was divorced from my ex-husband. I mention this because I am STILL having problems with him... STILL!!! Mind you, I picked him... it's my own fault in a way but, to my defense, I was 15 when I met him and 18 when I married him so... I was much more stupid than I am now. (no really)

So... when Lucifer and I divorced, I bought him out of his share of the house. We had lived there together for about 8 years, but not anymore... it was all mine. Anyway... when we divorced... butt munch left a very large, old, riding lawnmower in my garage. He let me know that he wanted it and even though I repeatedly asked him to remove it, it remained there for... yes... 13 years!!! I should point out, I have a 1 car garage and it's the size of a volkswagon bug so it occupied 1/2 of my garage... for... yes... THIRTEEN YEARS...

On August 1st I typed up a letter of intent to dispose of property. I actually found a sample letter on a legal website and used it as a model, it was very professional looking and I was quite proud of myself :) I took the letter to Lucifer and had him sign it. It stated that he had 2 weeks to retreive the mower or I was free to dispose of it. He wasn't happy signing it but he did. Now... in the mean time my husband-in-training had surgery and was unable to help me move the mower so... it sat there in the garage, waiting for him to recover enough to help. (I should point out that the mower is inoperable, the engine is blown, no battery, 4 flat tires, no seat, gears frozen so neutral is impossible... it had to be dragged to be moved)

so... he, of course, never called, never came to get it. 4 more weeks passed and he called me to inform me of his plan... "yeah, I'm coming over Saturday, I'm going to put the mower in your back yard and put a tarp over it and secure it from the weather..."

um... NO YOU ARE NOT.

I told him that he needed to remove it, he whined, complained he had no where to store it, I told him too friggin' bad... come get it or it's going bye bye. He agreed and I told him to call before coming over, I'd push the mower to the end of the driveway and he could pick it up... he never called, never came over (there's a surprise)

Lucifer was across the street when I came home one day last week... he was visiting a neighbor. Rick and I pushed and pulled and put the mower into the driveway... He saw us doing this... Lucifer had every opportunity to pick it up... of course... he didn't.

to wrap this story up... the mower sat in my driveway for a week. He was a no call/no show. We woke up Sunday morning and the mower was gone. I actually have no idea who took it, for all I knew he had come by to get it... it was... gone.

Of course, that's the magical day that he decided to come by to get it... he didn't call, just dropped by. When I told him it was gone he went BALISTIC!!! started yelling at me, calling me names, swearing, top of his lungs type yelling... all the neighbors were on alert. I told him to leave... he refused... he threatened me... repeatedly. He called our daughters (all adults) telling them that he was going to get some type of compensation out of me one way or the other... legally or illegally, he didn't care... trust me... he was FURIOUS and I was scared!!!

I called the police. by the time they got there, he had stepped into the street and stood next to his truck just staring at the house. The police said they could not make him leave, they could not arrest him... I needed a PPO for that. yeah... I'll get right on that buster... think he can kill me before I get one? what are the odds? who's taking the bets?

Anyway... I've since filed a PPO and it was granted. He has continued to call our children telling them that he's going to get money out of me one way or the other even if it means causing personal property damage that I'd have to pay to get repaired... it's certainly not over and could definitely get much worse before it's over... He's hired a lawywer to sue me for $2000.00 (yes, $2000.00) of course, he doesn't have a leg to stand on... this is just one more way to harrass me.

and... yes... we've been divorced 13 years

I'm surrounded by circus clowns

2005-09-16T11:26:00.000-07:00

seriously... why am I the only sane person in the universe??? or at least the only sane person in MY universe?

come on LOTTO!!!

Can I elaborate on my position on "prayer"? Sure...

2005-09-15T08:10:00.000-07:00

oooohhhh... elaboration is my forte'. Someone asked me to elaborat on my not being a person of prayer. (Please note that my biography is titled: "Let me Elaborate")

I believe that I have absolutely no idea what makes me the living, breathing, thinking (at times) being that I am but I'm sure it's not some "guy" floating on a cloud with a long beard in a white robe. I can remember as a child being told that God and Jesus were in "heaven" and that "heaven" was up in the sky (which is why we'd raise our hands and turn our eyes to the sky when we'd "pray" to "them") and then I watched the moon landing (I was a child) and thought "oh my GOSH they flew through heaven!!!" I'm not a genius but I am smart enough to know that what my Sunday school teacher (and parents) taught me was bullshit... or... to be nicer, they told me a fable, similar to that of the "Santa Claus" conspiracy and "Easter Bunny" falacy. I don't doubt that a man named Jesus lived and died a horrible death. Did his mom get knocked up by God? Now, that's a story I could have used 23 years ago :)

Anyway... I am more of an evolution/reincarnation kinda girl, not in the traditional sense, I sorta have my own way of thinking about it... but for me, praying to "God" would be wasted for me as I don't think there is one. I think that (before concrete crypts) we would be returned to the soil upon our deaths and feed the worms eaten by birds consumed by cats... etc. etc. etc... we'd nourish the ground helping trees and flowers to grow... our electrical energy would leave our bodies and float around the universe causing people to get static electricity shocks when they'd touch the door frame (not really, but it sounded good eh?).

Are there forces out there greater than me? Sure. Are there forces out there that I don't know about or understand or can't even fathom? absolutely. Does that mean the story of the bible is a factual account of history? I don't think so, but it is a good story with great character building and stunning plot twists, villian's and hero's, saints and sinners... so I'm not surprised that so many revel in it. It's just not my thing. I don't think anyone who believes what they believe are wrong, it's just not a shared opinion.

I should say that I was born into a Methodist family where my father practiced, my mother didn't. I went to Baptist Churches most of my life (mainly because there wasn't a nearby Methodist one) I have a family full of Ministers, Missionaries, choir singers and lectors, there is a church in Ruth, Alabama built by my ancestors that has a concrete marker in front with my families name on it. I married a Catholic and converted, raised my kids Catholic. After my divorce, I un-converted and until I met my current heathen love slave, dated a Hindu, Jew and Budhist (among others) I embrace other's opinions, I am honestly interrested and intrigued in what others have to say and intently listen and respect their right to feel the way they feel but have yet to find anything that has honestly caused me to rethink my way of life. Even witnessing the death of my father couldn't turn me... it only made my unconventional feelings grow stronger.

I also believe that I live my life being as good of a person as I can, trying not to hurt or injure any person, place or thing. Not because "Jesus tell's me so" but because it's the right thing to do (IMO). I'm polite and humble and try to live a full, exciting, exhillirating life. I've raised children that are compassionate, caring, loving, intelligent people that love life. If there is a god, I think he'll be okay with that. :)

rant and rave

2005-09-13T09:27:00.000-07:00

Okay... I really have no problem with what Kanye West said (Bush hates black people) he has the right to say what he wants... he has an opinion and expressed it... he might even be right... I have no way of knowing what's really in Bush's head (thank God) but... fine... whatever... move on.

The problem I do have is when he attempts to "explain" his opinion. I've listened to him go on and on and on about how "White America", "The Media" and "The Government" mistreats people whose skin happens to be black. I'm not going to argue that particular point, lets even say... for arguments sake... he's right.

But...

All I can think of when I hear this come out of his mouth is... hmmmm... yeah, 'cuz you care about black people, especially black women... yeah... that's why you put half naked strippers in your videos dancing provocatively. Because you love black people, you respect them. That's why you use the word "nigger" in every sentence you rap/sing/speak... because you love them, you respect them. That's why you felt so strongly about the abuses in the diamond minds that you wrote a rap about it... only to perform a song a week later wearing the largest diamond you could fit on your earlobe... because you love them, you respect them.

Kanye is "disgusted" in the way the "media portray's black people"... maybe he needs to look at himself and his industry (controlled, for the most part, by black people) and how they portray black people, their "own people" as: Thugs, Whores, Strippers, Drug Users, Drug Dealers, Theives, Rapists, Gangsters... need I go on? How many times a day do people watch music videos only to see "B" movie sexual content? How many movies do we watch in which black men walk around calling each other "nigger" and calling women "bitches" and "Ho's"? I'm sure George W. Bush had no hand in making a rap video... or... "Player's Club".

Now... before any of you come back with comments about what you feel is my apparent racism... stop and think about my argument... am I wrong in anything I said?

I'll save my personal biography for those who I know will make a case that I'm a honkey bitch... 'cuz I like to shock and awe :)

mouse glue traps

2005-09-12T14:55:00.000-07:00

I was wandering around someones homepage and came across an article on banning glue traps for mouse control... I thought I'd share my experience with them as it continues to be one of the most emotionally taxing events of my life.

I should point out that I appear to be rather... tree hugging... but I eat all sorts of beasts so I'm really not... with that said...

about 10 years ago I had a mouse problem... not those big as cats-rats but teeny weeny mousies. I ask "Tom" at the local hardware what to do... he directed me to the glue traps. I asked questions like a good little consumer, he assured me that they work... and... I must point out... BOY THEY DO WORK.

Anyway... I didn't know how many meecies I had so I bought 10 traps (I hear they reproduce quickly like... well... like mice) I placed them along the baseboards behind furniture as instructed and left to go and drop the kids off at their grandparents for a rare night alone. When I returned a few hours later and opened the door I was greeted by little squeeking noises which stopped for a few seconds everytime I made noise. I quickly realized that I had caught a few mice... 6 to be exact... and here's where my blondness comes in (even though I'm a redhead) suddenly the full gravity of what I had done hit me... the mice were... ALIVE and stuck to glue in my house... did I mention they were ALIVE? not only that, they were crying and frantically gnawing at their own limbs in an attemp to free themselves (those who's heads weren't glued down) and... I know... "better them than me" you'd all say... oh...but you didn't hear them... you didn't see their sweaty little bodies (all were babies) with dots of red, wrigling in paid and terror.

My motherly instincts kicked into full gear. after reading the box, again, I read the part that tells how to release yourself if you accidently touch the glue and can't get the trap off your fingers... it says to use MINERAL SPIRITS as a lubricant to loosen... so... I put on a pair of construction gloves lined with rubber gloves... picked up one of the traps and... not having mineral spirits, got out the olive oil (the good stuff too... $20.00 a bottle stuff!) and poured it over the mouse... I then tried to wiggle it free... no go. I poured more oil on the mouse, nearly drowning it, probably scaring the bejesus our of it even more... still... it was stuck. I worked frantically for at least a half an hour to try and free the tiny creature... if finally died (or decided to play dead so I'd quit basting it with olive oil).

I cried

yes... I cried... I was a blubbering idiot. I'd used the standard cheese mouse trap many times, emptying it of a dead rodent without much thought.. but this was different. I had a living, breathing, creature in my hand... dying before me in a most painful way and this actually hurt my heart. (awe)

So... what did I ultimately do you ask? good question. having exhausted my ideas (and olive oil) I put all 6 mice into a paper bag, put the paper bag into a garbage bag and put the garbage bag into the outside trash can. This was my only solution other than leaving them on the traps in my house, screaming as they died. I swear though that I heard those little things squealing all night long as I tried to sleep. they were all dead by morning (it was winter and very cold outside). I felt awful for days and called an exterminator to rid my house of what might be left. at least that way they were dead but I didn't have to know about it.

So... yes... I agree to the ban on glue traps.

wait... do they make them large enough for people? hmmmmmmmmm... Brad Pitt couldn't get away from me THEN!!!

update on the update

2005-09-12T13:30:00.000-07:00

so it's been 2 weeks and 2 days since surgery... which means I have been in "surgical recovery hell" for 2 weeks and 2 days. There have been some interresting "complications" that have developed, one of which is something no one likes to discuss but almost everyone suffers from in some severity at least once in their life. Yes... I'm talking about... CONSTIPATION.

As if mr. man's whining hasn't been enough, the side effect of the 3 medications he was prescribed have all caused him to be extremely constipated. So badly that I had to take him to the emergency room on Labor Day because he was screaming in pain.

Now... I want to point out that while I am not a board certified brain surgeon (yet) I am 43 and have raised 3 daughters (mostly by myself) who have had a variety of maladies in their lives. I also nursed my father for 4 years, caring for him through quad-bypass, colon cancer, diabetes, and a host of other diseases. I'm not an expert but... I do have a little bit of experience with sick people.

So I bought the man a "gut bomb"... you know, one of those citrus flavored magnesium nasty tasting things that you drink and it makes your bowels explode??? (if you've never had one you are missing a mind-boggling phenom) he refused saying (and I quote) "you are NOT a nurse... stop trying to NURSE me!!!" hmmm... okay... then what do YOU suggest oh wise one??? :)

Anyway... he tried exlax, stool softeners, suppositories (this made me smile an evil grin) prune juice (smile widened) lots of soluable fiber, etc... nothing worked... but, instead of calling the doctor on Friday when the office was open he decided to wait until 4pm on Labor Day while I was in full swing of bbq prep for us and the kiddies... baking the ribs, marinading the chicken, boiling potatoes for potato salad, steaming the squash... you get the gist right? So it's at that moment, between steaming squash and baking ribs that mr. intelligence decides that he wants to go to the hospital for his problem. Him: "No, you stay, I'll drive myself..." Me: "don't be stupid, of course I'll take you..." moron!!! (okay, I didn't call him a moron... to his face :)

Anyway... after a DRE (digital rectal exam - you can picture it I'm sure) and an x-ray of his abdomen the doctor returned to tell him that he was, in fact, full of crap. I LOVE THAT WOMAN... we both laughed... me more-so than him. so they sent him home with... what? WHAT YOU ASK??? oh... one of those green bottles of citrus flavored magnesium gut bomb thingies... uh huh... oh yeah... that's right... I was right... what's that you say??? I was right??? UH HUH... I KNOW... I'M AWESOME!!!

to make a long story longer... he drank the nasty stuff and waited. Normally it works really fast... and I"m talking REALLY FAST... but it took about 3 hours for him to get "stimulated" and then... well... suffice to say it worked.

One would think that all would be well after that right? well... because he waited so long and was so plugged up... it... well... how to put this delicatly... it HURT LIKE A SON OF A BISCUIT MAKER!!!

So... now... not only do I have a husband to be in penis pain, he's in butt-holio pain to boot... will it never end?

oh oh oh... and then yesterday he got up and came downstairs with an ace bandage wrapped around his knee...

me: "what's wrong with your knee?"
him: "it hurts"
me: "why?"
him: "I think I over-did it yesterday..." (mind you... "yesterday" he walked one city block with the dog and managed to watch tv in all three rooms they reside in... that was the extent of his "doin' it")
me: "doing what?"
him: "I don't know... walking"
me: "to where?"
him: "why do I have to explain it to you, it just hurts okay?"
me: "honey, you need a 12 step program..."
him: "for?"
me: "Hi, my name is Rick and I'm a whine-a-holic..."

he didn't laugh... I thought it was funny :)

update

2005-08-29T14:30:00.000-07:00

Okay... so... surgery is over. Here are some stories...

Dr. Dan: "Mr. Smith, do you know what you are having done today?"
Rick: "Yeah, I'm getting 4 inches added to my pee pee."
Dr. Dan: "Oh, so it will be 4 and a half inches long then?"

HEHEHEHEHEHEHE

Nurse: "Mr. Smith, can you tell me in your own words what you are getting done today?"
Rick: "Yeah, I'm getting a penis transplant."
Nurse: "Then you are in the wrong department, the sex change area is on the other end of the hospital."

HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE

Anestesiologist: "Mr. Smith, open your mouth wide (he obliges) hmmm... you have a short pallet."
Rick: "And she has a big head" (referring to me)
Anestesiologist: "Small pallet, big head, perfect couple"

HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE

Me: "Honey, they gave you a shot, are you feeling groggy yet?"
Rick: "Nope, not at all"
Dr. Dan: "Okay, hugs and kisses, we're ready "(I hug and kiss him bye)
as I walk away he raises his fist to the ceiling and yells...
Rick: "Game Cocks are going down!!! 21 nothing!!!"
The doctor looks at me quizically...
Dr. Dan: "what is he talking about?"
Me: "ummm I have no idea... he did tell me that he was going to pretend to be Brett Favre while he was out but I'm not sure who the Game Cocks are..."
Rick: "Go... Go... Go... woohoo... yeah... lets go!!!" (pumping his fist)
Dr. Dan: "Am I going to have to restrain him?"
Me: "hehehe... maybe"
Anestesiologist: "I think we're gonna need a stronger sedative!"

HEHEHEHEHEHEHE

In recovery, the nurse is explaining to him that he shouldn't over do it, shouldn't lift anything heavy, shouldn't make any important decisions in the next few days... he looks over at me...
Rick: "Wanna get married?"
Me: "Hell no... you have a broken penis!"
The nurse almost died laughing...

HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE

all and all it went okay, he's in some pain but he deserves it :)

(by the way, apparently the Game Cocks are a football team that he played when he was in college at Clemson... or so he tells me)

Now I just have to get through the next few weeks of his whiny ass moping around complaining... men are such babies when they have the slightest thing wrong with them!!!

COME ON 6 WEEKS!!!

Setback :(

2005-08-23T08:52:00.000-07:00

My husband in training went to the doctor yesterday for a follow up visit after his "shocking" experience to find that his heart is, yet again, beating irregularly...

he was very disappointed in this setback and decided that somehow it was my fault becuase he was as grouchy as hell to me so I had to set him straight (as only I can) and he appologized.

anyway... he is still scheduled for surgery this Friday but now he has to go back in 4 weeks to get shocked again and if it doesn't take... he will have to get a PACE MAKER!!!

YIKES!!! the guy is 43 and a candidate for a pacemaker??? yeah, makes me a tad nervous. He's lucky I love him or I would have snuck up behind him wearing a Hillary clinton mask and yelled BOO!!! hehehehehe....

anyway... as if that isn't enough... the dog has a sore on his paw and he's gimping around like a 2 year old with diaper rash... not like I can carry his 150 pound ass around or anything... so... when I'm home, I have to put medicine on his paw, put a sock over it and duct tape it on (and monitor him so he doesn't try to take it off) when I'm not home (which is more than when I am home) he removes is and licks at the medicine... he's such a dumbass.

So... I'm surrounded by gimpy, whimpy, whiny males. I'm starting to miss the good 'ol days when it was just me and the girls (as scary as the memory of pre-menstral hormones is)

I've heard it all...

2005-08-19T09:26:00.000-07:00

Today, apparently, there was some type of missle shot from Jordan and killed some people and stuff... the details aren't important for the purpose of this post... but I was sitting here, minding my own bid-ness in my own office when a couple of guys outside my door started chatting about this missle "incident" and one said... "well, they deserve it... I mean come on, they all should just die already..."

and I started thinking... (I know, it's dangerous) how in the hell can people really feel that way? how can a human being go through life feeling that detatched from the rest of humanity?

I admit freely that I have no idea what the missle "situation" is as I didn't watch the news this morning (I'm a weather tv addict) and nothing has been said on the radio, but... regardless of the situation... I don't think I'd ever feel that an entire population of a country should "just die already"...

The only comment I made to the guy who said it was... "well Jim, not quite yet... wait until we fly you over there for business... then they can go ahead and kill them all already..." he didn't find me amusing... oh well :)

My family

2005-08-18T15:45:00.000-07:00

Today, in the lunchroom, I started talking about my family... not my kids but my brothers, mom/dad, extended family kinda family. I don't remember what got me started but at some point Carla (aka. "fall down girl" - a story for a later time) said to me... "I hope you are writing this down..." and I realized that I had them all laughing so hard they were crying.

It was at that point that I realized that generally when I think back on my family and my childhood, I tend to focus on the negative. I'm sure (or at least I've convinced myself) that it is because there was so much negative and not much positive. But, of course, I focus most of my stories on myself because... well... basically because I know myself better than anyone.

I am writing my life story and have been for several years (casually) now. It is entitled "Let Me Elaborate", basically because I'm often accused of embelishing the truth to make a story better (and sometimes to protect the innocent). I think I've just decided to put in some funny stories along with all the stories that I already have, the ones that always end up sounding as though I lived the most horrendous life known to man... which just was not the case.

"Let Me Elaborate" starts out as follows:

My youngest memory is of sitting on the front porch of my parents house... I'm crying and my dad is sitting there with me. We were sitting on the porch itself, it wasn't big enough for chairs, so there we sat, me crying, him explaining to me for the 90th time why he was not going to the store and buy me chocolate milk.

I was only 5 or 6, maybe younger but definitely not older, and I was addicted to chocolate milk. I had a 2-quart-a-day habit and my dad was going to break me of it by making me go cold turkey. "I promise you will be okay." he said, as if he knew. I was certain that he was trying to kill me. I cried and begged, "pleeeeeeeese daddy, I NEEEEEEEEEEEED it!!!" He would just gently pat my knee with his large, grease stained, hand; "no sissy, you don't need it, you will be okay, I promise."

Now, I find that to be such a scary memory for me. It brings back so much emotion in me but other's find it such an amuzing story... ARE THEY MADDDD??? how can people be so insensitive to the addictions of a 5 year old??? hehehehe

anyway... today I was telling the story of my Aunt-cousins. My Aunt-cousins are two women who happen to be the daughters of my mother's sister who is... by all intelligence I've ever gathered, my aunt. So, as a child I wasn't the brightest bulb in the attic in regards to family-type matters right? My Aunt-cousin Brenda and Aunt-cousin Judy are about 15 and 12 years older than I am so by the time I was old enough to have intelligent thought (and at an age that I can pretty much remember most of my life - say... 10 or so) I always called Brenda and Judy "Aunt" and NO ONE (can I repeat NO ONE) ever corrected me. I went through most of my developing years calling them my aunts. Now mind you, my real Aunt (mom's sister) lived in Bama so I didn't see her very often and the Aunt-cousin's lived in Michigan but we only saw them a couple times a year... so it's not like I saw them all the time or anything... (I'm explaining way too much I know) anyway... when I was about 20 (and already the mother of two) I was at a family function and asked my Aunt Judy for something and she looked at me and said... "Linda, why do you always call me Aunt Judy?" I looked at her like she had 4 heads and a mole the size of New Jersey on her foreheads and said... "ummm... 'cuz you are my aunt?" well... everyone within earshot started laughing... Judy say's ... "honey, I'm your cousin..." well... color me red... I'm standing there, trying to defend my ignorance, pointing out that my brother Joey also calls them "Aunt" (not much of a defense as he's a moron) and most definitely looking like a deer caught in headlights as, for the first time, it dawned on me that their mother was my Aunt Betty which, had I ever thought about it, would in deed make them my cousins. I studdered... I laughed... I protested and then laughed some more... why did adults do this to me??? why didn't someone tell me this when I was... say... TEN??? UGH!!!

Anyway... I told this (and other) stories to my lunch buddies today and... THEY LAUGHED AT ME!!! Some friends!!! :)

Do you want a tarp or plastic?

2005-08-17T11:51:00.000-07:00

Someone who is much more important than myself here at work has decided that tomorrow will be a great day to replace the fiberglass ceiling tiles in my office. Mind you... I'm allergic to fiberglass and I've told them all this many, many times... while this guy's been replacing them in other parts of the building, I've managed to avoid the particles of fiberglass drifting down from the ceiling... how, exactly, am I supposed to avoid them in my own office? He says to me... "do you want me to put a tarp over everything or just some plastic over your computer and desk?" (like... how can I post on my blog if there is plastic over it???!!!???)

Anyway... I said to one of the bosses (there's so many)... "wouldn't it be better to have this done on a day that I am not here?" "why?" he asks... "well... I'm very sensitive to fiberglass... I literally could have respiratory failure here!!!" he laughed... "no, seriously... I won't be able to stay in my office at all while he is doing this... can I move my computer somewhere else temporarily?" (I actually do quite a bit of work on it... I know, I know, you don't believe me but I do)

"nah... it won't take that long... just go and sit in someone elses office..."

okay... so I am going to spend AT LEAST 2 days sitting in someone elses office... with no computer access (I have specialized software that only my computer has) and just like... what... sit around all day??? I suggested that they give me the time off work (of course, not charging me for vacataion days)

nah... they figure they can find me something to do...

COUGH COUGH COUGH!!! I feel a respiratory event coming on!!! :)

My Personality Test Results

2005-08-15T11:17:00.000-07:00

Extraversion |||||||||||||| 56%
Stability |||||||||||||||| 70%
Orderliness |||||||||||||| 53%
Altruism |||||||||||||| 56%
Interdependence |||||||||||||||| 70%
Intellectual |||||||||||| 50%
Mystical || 10%
Artistic |||||||||||||| 56%
Religious || 10%
Hedonism || 10%
Materialism |||||| 30%
Narcissism |||||| 30%
Adventurousness |||||| 30%
Work ethic |||||||||||| 43%
Self absorbed |||||| 30%
Conflict seeking |||||||||||| 43%
Need to dominate |||||| 23%
Romantic |||||||||||| 43%
Avoidant |||||| 30%
Anti-authority |||||| 30%
Wealth |||| 16%
Dependency |||| 16%
Change averse |||||||||||||| 56%
Cautiousness |||||||||||||| 56%
Individuality |||||||||||||||| 63%
Sexuality |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Peter pan complex |||| 16%
Physical security |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Physical fitness |||||| 30%
Histrionic |||||||||||| 43%
Paranoia |||||| 30%
Vanity || 10%
Hypersensitivity |||||||||||| 43%
Female cliche |||||||||| 36%

Stability results were high which suggests you are very relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.. Orderliness results were medium which suggests you are moderately organized, hard working, and reliable while still remaining flexible, efficient, and fun. Extraversion results were moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.

CLEAR!!!

2005-08-15T10:16:00.000-07:00

I can only imagine that the last word my hubby wannabe heard on Friday was "Clear!"... actually he said that he remembers someone saying... "hmmmm, his heart rate is only 45, we need to boost that up..." and then the next thing he knows he was in the recovery room and I was sitting next to him.

Unfortunately, they wouldn't let me in the O.R. with them... even though I told them that I am merely months away from getting my Doctors license (yeah, they didn't believe me either) and I attempted to bribe the Anesthesiologist who reminded me that he makes more in a month than me and Richard combined in a year so he didn't need my stinkin' twenty.

Anyway... all's well in the heart department. He was shocked, only once, and his widdle hearty wearty went back into rhythm just like it was supposed to. He was gone from my side for a whole 25 minutes and I must admit I actually got teary-eyed for a couple minutes there... of course, it could be because I was stabbing myself in the eyes, but either way... I did shed a tear or two in anticipation of his being okay.

I should point out though that the hospital outpatient surgery wing is under construction so all of the recoverees were lumped in together in one large room divided only by cloth curtains. The lady to Richard's left had a colonoscopy (butt scope - they fill your intestines with air and look inside with a camera) and what goes up, must come out if you catch my drift. Trust me... we caught HER drift... many, many times... it was HISTERICAL to sit there listening to the biggest, loudest, LONGEST farts I'd ever heard in my LIFE!!! she was embarrassed at first but, of course, could do nothing about it as it just comes out on it's own and then she started laughing... and we started laughing... and then Richard decided to let one of his own go (although she had him bea) and they both laughed... I then felt the need to explain that he had NOT had a colonoscopy and had no excuse for his gas!!!

One thing I did find incredibly funny was listening to the colonoscopy lady and her support/driver talking about the author who wrote "How Stella got her Groove Back" (her name escapes me at the moment) and how the man who inspired the story, the man she met and married, confessed after 10 years that he is gay... that isn't the funny part... the funny part was when colonoscopy lady said... "well, you know what they say... if there's poop in the back AND poop in the front... he's gay!"

I THOUGHT WE WERE ALL GOING TO DIE WITH LAUGHTER!!! which, luckily we were in a hospital so if we were going to all start dying, it was as good a place as any to be.

The weekend was a nice, relaxing one (all except for mowing the lawn - which I did all by myself and let the hubby rest) but we took lots of naps (he sleeps better with me) Kris was home for the weekend but stayed at her dads so she didn't visit until later on Sunday, and even that went smoothly.

So all in all, a good experience, restful weekend and now we just have one more procedure to go and HOPEFULLY will be all set for a while. I know he's looking forward to being healthy again and lord knows I CAN'T WAIT!!!

As for my stalkers... I did get a couple of emails, but nothing really... maybe they'll lay off me now... I will miss them though :)

update on my new stalkers

2005-08-11T09:23:00.000-07:00

Apparently the (are they right wing or left wing) conservatives have taken to bombarding my yahoo email with all sorts of hate filled comments, I imagine it is in an attempt to clog my email so that it becomes full??? As I know that they are reading my blog but don't have the courage to comment on here, I'll just say... OH MY GOSH... it's a Yahoo email people... it's not my life-line to the universe... it's a FREE YAHOO EMAIL... this is what this one guy wrote to me (he sent me about 100 duplicate emails first... then wrote):

"Lets see how you can keep in touch with all of your liberal zitfaced scumbags now you sloth!"

I am getting emails from 4 different email addresses and it's kinda fun to just select the "delete all" button and have them disappear in about 3.2 seconds, probably much less time than it took them to send them.

wow... I think some people have come unhinged. I should point out that I have not once responded to any of the emails to my yahoo account... NOT ONCE... so I have reached the conclusion that they are reading my blog but don't want to admit it.

I'm half-tempted to post their email address on as many blogs I can and ask everyone to email them... but then again, I'm a sloth and that might take too much energy:)

A Shocking Experience

2005-08-10T07:50:00.000-07:00

On Friday my husband-in-training has to get his heart shocked... he is in A-fib and has been since March (when he had his medical emergency) and the drugs they are giving him aren't working... well... they are working in the sense that they are blood thinners and he bleeds like a stuck pig from a little scratch... but they have not helped get his heart back in rhythm so they are going to use the paddles (you've seen them on E.R. to save a person's life who is having a heart attack) and shock his heart. Apparently he will be under a mile sedative and will need to be monitored closely for 24 hours afterwards... by me... at home.

Now he say's he's not nervous but last night when the doctor called to tell him that he needed to have it done Friday he was soooooooooooo freaking out (he denies this) but at one point I held his hand and it was all sweaty... cold and clammy... I laughed inside (while being all concerned outside)

I mean... I am nervous too... but I know he'll be fine... and it's funny to see him SAYING that he's okay with this but knowing that he's freakin' out inside.

So.. I will not be blogging Friday in addition to my usual non-blogging weekends.

Why are people so narrow minded?

2005-08-09T10:42:00.000-07:00

I responded to a blog the other day (I won't promote it here). The topic was the atrocites Islamic nations belay on their female population. Now, I don't disagree in the least that they are pretty backwards in their thinking (at least as far as I am concerned) and the reported cruelty is appalling... I've never personally experienced it so I can only imagine that it is almost unbearable... this opinion of mine was obviously lost on one of the blogs "frequent" contributors as he felt it necessary to personally email me and berade me with all sorts of nasty names because I wrote the following response on the blog:

"As long as we don't forget that Arab countries are not the only ones who are guilty of atrocities against women..." (or something to that affect) For that sentence, I received a 4 page tirade, was called things that would make a sailor blush and... while I appreciate the new words :) it left me wondering how in the world people who feel the way he obviously feels get through each day in America, working and living side-by-side with all sorts of cultures other than their own. I was left with a challenge to "Prove" my stance with FACTS... "Cite your sources" he said... "If you can't tell me where you learned it, you should just keep your mouth shut..." he said... "Where do you get your information?" he asked...

So... I feel compelled to address this topic, but just not to him. He, I care very little about responding to which actually should piss him off royally as I'm sure he was hoping for a fight... I'm a tree hugger... not a fighter :) (not really, but that's what he called me)

The United States is not without a history of viloence against women and minorities. It's been going on forever but I won't go back to the days of Columbus and the Salem Witch Hunts... I'll try and stick closer to modern times... And yes, there have been governmental policies that have prevented certain practices from being abolished and yes our culture, many times, lends to perpetuation of practices that some of us (me) feel are harmful to my person. With that said... do I feel the need to throw out dates and facts and authors and such to solidify my argument? nah... not really... I think common sense can support much of what I say, not to mention 42 years of being on this planet gives me my own "facts" of which I am the "author". Now... I guess, to give mr. tirade the benefit of the doubt, I should say that maybe I should have added "minorities" to my sentence and maybe "atrocities" wasn't the right word as that does mean an appalling condition or quality of behavior, but then again, it's possible that appalling is in the eye of the beholder isn't it? I mean, I've never been hit by rocks for speaking out but I have been assaulted for having an opinion... so can't I decide for myself if that was an atrocity? And yes, the government let me down... can't I decide for myself that the goverment participated in establishing policy that perpetuated that crime?

I think so...

But to beat the drum... a few books that I have read that I found very interresting and while, I don't believe everything I read at face value, they do get you thinking in an "out of the box" sorta way; "A Peoples History of the United States" and "Lies My Teacher Told Me: Everything Your History Teacher Got Wrong" are both excellent reads to get your mind (and juices) flowing.

Brief (yeah right) examples: Some would have you to believe that women have always been thought of as "equals" when that couldn't be farther from the truth. There were many women who marched for the right to vote, there were those who were punched and beaten and kicked, assaulted, for marching in a rally for the right to vote. When did this happen? As late as the early 1900's. As recently as the late 1920s, many states continued to bar women from jury duty and public office. Anticipated "women's vote" failed to materialize by end of decade with only 4 states allowing it. And even after women were granted the right to vote, it was 1974 bofore Ella Grasso of Connecticut became the first woman Governor (elected, not as a widow). Now is this an atrocity? Well to me it is... to others it might be or maybe not... I mean, it is, in my opinion, appalling that women were once considered men's "property" in the United States and had to fight their way, kicking and screaming, simply to get the same rights as a man. Do I compare this to Female Circumcision (mutilation of the clitoris) that is rampant in Africa, Asia and Arab countries? No... not at all, it's apples and oranges... but it is proof (to me at least) that women have suffered violence at the hands of a male dominated government, right here in the good 'ol US of A.

Speaking of actual "physical" violence... the statistics are STAGGERING (IMO) according to the AMA, "sexual assault continues to represent the most rapidly growing violent crime in America, claiming a victim every 45 seconds. Because many of these attacks occurring daily go unreported and unrecognized, sexual assault can be considered a “silent-violent epidemic” in the United States today...". This is not only my opinion, it's the opinion of the American Medical Association (one of those "left wing propoganda" groups I'm sure.) Now... am I suggesting that there is a governmental "policy" that says it's okay to assault women... certainly not... but just consider that The National Victim Center reports that "...over 700,000 women are raped or sexually assaulted annually. Of these victims, 61% are under age 18." This is just the Rape statistic, it does not include the assault number which push it way over a million a YEAR!!! (the stats I have are from 2000, and the rates rose steadily for the 10 years on the report so I'm sure it's more now)

So when I read that 4000 women were murdered in an Arab country for reasons such as; interrigation technique, infidelity, crimes of the family (not of the woman), etc... all being blindly accepted by the countries government... I think of the 3080 women murdered in 2000 in America for various reasons... NOT blindly accepted by the government but... DEAD NON THE LESS. I wonder do we (we being you, me, our government) really do enough in an attempt to eradicate this from happening in our own country? How are the numbers so high in such a "Civilized" country as ours?

Being a person who, at one time, had a restraining order against a man who had threatened to kill me... I am well aware of the value of that sheet of paper... need I say NO VALUE AT ALL???

And if we want to get away from actual physical violence... how about discrimination? I won't even get into the discrimination against those with black skin, that is well documented and easily researched. How about job discrimination of women and minorities (all minorities)?

Accoring to "International Job Discrimination in Metro Areas" (a research documentary) "Minority and Females in metro areas faced substantial likelihood of intentional job discrimination when seeking employment in 2000. Minorities = 32% and Women = 28%." These (Mr. tirade spewer - if you still have the brain cells left to read all of this) are statistics... they are facts and no, I don't have to read a book to know that, I can tell you from my own personal work experience over the past 20 plus years that it is a fact... but I know he needed data, so just in case he reads this... there they are.

So, I guess, my point is... our hands are not clean here in the US. Are we hanging women for showing an ankle... certainly not... but are we doing enough to curb the violence that is rampant against women in this country... OBVIOUSLY not.

Okay... I'm off my soap box... on to more pleasant subjects... anyone care to pose a topic??? :)

Overall... a good weekend

2005-08-08T10:26:00.000-07:00

Let me start out by saying that I keep forgetting to send myself pictures of my weekend "adventures" and it would make all of this much more enjoyable I'm sure... but... without the pics... I'll give you the gist.

We've been pretty good about getting all of our yardwork done on Saturday so that we can have Sunday to laze around and do what WE want to do. I even did some of it Friday night... trimmed the hedges and pulled some weeds... the rest was left for Saturday. That, in and of itself, isn't that great of a story except the one thing on Saturday that had me laughing so hard I almost pee'd myself... this really should be in my "Zeus" blog but...

I'm doing laundry Saturday morning (about 6:30am - I'm an early riser) and as I am coming back downstairs to swap out the washer/dryer the dog comes around the corner with husbands wannabe's underwear on his head!!! mind you... these are NOT clean ones!!! apparently he decided to roll around on the neatly sorted piles of whites/darks/colors I had made on the basement floor and in his rollings, a pair of undies wound up around his nect with the crotch on the top of his head... ears sticking out each side, etc...

Now... it was too early to wake up sleeping beauty so I grabbed my camera (yeah, I forced him to keep the undies on his head for like... 7 minutes!!!) and snapped a pic of my zeusy with underwear on his head.

yeah... sad but... that was the highlight of my Saturday.

Anyway... Sunday was much more enjoyable. I made a kickass breakfast of bacon, eggs, pancakes, biscuits and gravy and sliced tomatoes from the garden... mmmmmmmm after I fell into a coma for 2 hours, we got up and went to get the man unit's hair cut at BO RIC's (he's a cheap-ass) and then decided to try out our new community pool.

We'd never been before so we didn't know what to expect but it was very cool... it's indoors (so I don't have to worry about sunburn) but there is an area the man can lay outside if he wants. The best part??? there is a HUGE jacuzzi... OH MY GOSH... let me tell you, that jacuzzi melted away about 3 weeks worth of B.S. and I was in heaven... now the next best part??? MY BOOBS LOOK HUGE in the hot tub!!! no... I'm serious... they are extremely boyant and float right on the surface lookin' all perky and stuff... the hubby even noticed and pointed it out (quite loudly i might add)

so... I've decided... I no longer need a boob job... just a hot tub!!!

If this trailer's a-rockin... don't come a-knockin'

2005-08-05T13:22:00.000-07:00

background info:

our receptionist at work is very large (350 plus pounds) and as crazy as a $3.00 bill... but... she's the bosses sister so she gets a free pass.

Anyway... we'll call her "Carol" (mostly cuz that's her name) has noticed that there is a camping trailer parked behind our newly acquired property next door and it appears someone is actually living there. So she inquires to one of our Managers whos trailer it is, etc... he tells her that he has a couple guys working 14 hour days so they decided to bring a trailer to stay at during the week rather than driving 2 hours home each night.

So... she says... OUT LOUD... in front of everyone...

Carol: "well, I just think I'm gonna go back there and see if he needs some company... maybe bring him a cocktail or something to eat... "
Me: "Carol, I don't think that's a good idea."
Carol: "Why not? I need sex dammit!!!"

yes... she actually said "I need sex" out loud in front of about 7 people (not counting those in the area who probably heard her)

My first thought was... "EWWWWWWWWW"

my second was... damn, I wish I was related so I could say stupid ass stuff and keep my job still.

Now I got nothin' but love for our larger population... I'm a big mac away from the fat farm myself but... how incredibly gross and disgusting to actually verbalize that in front of other people and AT WORK!!!

so tomorrow when I come in... if that trailer's a-rockin', I'm certainly not gonna go a-knockin'...

Flickr

2005-08-05T04:55:00.000-07:00

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

In the Headlines

2005-08-04T08:06:00.000-07:00

Okay... I must first point out that the story that drew this headline is tragic and miraculous at the same time and I feel deeply for the family and the baby... but I read the following headline this morning:

Brain-dead woman dies after childbirth

All I could think of was... "could you be more specific...we are all brain-dead after childbirth!!!"

okay... enough of the bad jokes (no... they won't end... I have an endless supply)

oh so appropriate!!!

2005-08-04T07:35:00.000-07:00

I don't believe this needs any explanation... but... I would like to recount some words of wisdom from Mrs. McCormick, my 6th grade teacher at Hoover Elementary in Hazel Park... One day, David Gobbel (yeah, his real name) was throwing rocks at me and my friends who were playing horse owners on the playground... not to be a snitch, I made my friend go and tell on him... Mrs. McCormick came over and told us that when boys throw rocks at girls, it means they like them but they are too shy to tell us.

Now let me think about that... if a boy hits you upside the head with a 3 inch rock giving you a laceration that requires 6 stitches... you can expect to one day marry him???

Oh the inhumanity!!!!